Phillipians 4:8 - Pure and Lovely

Alone I Walk, Together We'll Run

2010-03-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

"Therefore... let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." - Hebrews 12:1

Today I went jogging with my sister. I am not a runner. Between asthma and bad ankles it just never seemed like a good fit :p But every now and then I forget and will try a mile or two. My fifteen year old sister, Candice, had been jogging for the past few weeks and she kept talking about this awesome route that she and her friend had been jogging. I was inspired. And when I'm inspired I have to do something... so we decided to go running together :D

1/2 mile... I'm feelin' good!
1 mile... Whew, I got this.
1 1/2 miles... Why did she pick the route with the most HILLS!?
2 miles... So this is what dying feels like =p

I was not doing well. In fact, I was pretty sure I was dying at 2 miles. The route she had planned was 5 miles long! No shortcuts. No turning back. 5 MILES.

As I looked ahead, half way up the hill, I realized that Candice was almost to the top. At that point something inside of me snapped. I just gave up. I had been telling myself for the last mile to just push on. I was even listening to worship music on my ipod with lyrics like "I'm chasing after Jesus" and "We are gonna run this race for the weak" but that didn't help either! (cheesy I know...) Seeing her (my LITTLE sister for goodness sake!) so far ahead of me was just so disheartening. After a minute or so, she looked back and saw that I was reeeeally far behind her and walking. She turned around and ran back to see what was going on. I told her that I wasn't doing well and that I didn't think I could go the rest of the way, so I was going to turn around. She wouldn't hear about it! She gave me some encouragement and then I started jogging again. Again, she got ahead of me. Again, I started to walk. Finally, she came back and was like, "Seriously, are you ok?" (silly question... we were working on the third mile, NO! I was NOT OK!!!!) I told her how exhausted I was, how much pain I was in, yada yada yada. Her answer? "You CAN do this. I'll stay with you. Lets set goals, like to make it to that stoplight, and then once we get there we can set new ones, ok? You got this!" I was amazed at her patience. I was grateful for her sweet words when I was expecting something more like, "You are soooo lame." As we jogged (and sometimes walked) the rest of the way together there were moments when I wanted to give up, but whenever I did I would say to her, "Candice, I'm not feeling good... I don't know if I can make it!" All she needed to say was, "Yes you can. I'm here for you. Press on!" and for the most part, I would get a new burst of energy and keep jogging towards the next goal. Then it hit me. This is such a great picture of the Christian walk and community!

The Bible often compares our spiritual journey to a race or exercising, and today I saw how realistic this is! Running is hard... and, especially when you haven't done it before, running alone can be even harder. In fact, when breathing becomes difficult and your legs feel like lead, only the very disciplined can keep on keepin' on. That is why having a partner is so helpful- they can give you the encouragement you need and the accountability to keep running even when it gets tough. And all this is true in spiritual terms! The spiritual journey can get tough. REALLY tough. And few can handle the pressures alone. Because of this, many people give up... they start walking, or even turn around. That is why community is so key to the Christian walk. We NEED each other to build one another up when we need the encouragement, to hold one another up when we think we are going to fall. We can run so much farther with brothers and sisters in Christ encouraging us to keep up the good fight!

I wouldn't have finished the 5 miles today if I didn't have Candice there to push me to my physical limits. I wouldn't be where I'm at spiritually if certain people hadn't been a part of my life to push me to my spiritual limits. Thanks to Candice, I have set the goal to run a 10k some time within the next 2 months, and she is going to help me and be the support I need. Thanks to Jesus, I will keep on running the spiritual "race marked out" for me with perseverance. But not alone. I will stand along side my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as we all continue to pursue the path or righteousness with undivided hearts! Praise the Lord for the great blessings he has given us in the Body of Christ!

God Transforms

2010-03-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

Whew! These past three months have flown by! I didn't even realize how long it had been since I had posted :p But the time has been so incredible, because God has been showing me so much!

I started attending Theology Lab (my college group, Kaleo's mid-week biblestudy) in mid-January and have been so blessed! We are finishing up Tim Chester's You Can Change: God's transforming power for our sinful behaviours and negative emotions this week. WOW! I have been joyfully broken as my heart has been dissected and shown for what it really is - "black as Hell" (Horatius Bonar), and yet I have hope. For though, "I am more sinful and flawed than I would ever dare admit... at the same time I am more loved and accepted than I would ever dare hope," (Tim Keller). Isn't that so incredible! Romans 8:29 says, "For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." It is so amazing to be able to claim that verse as a chosen child of God. I was predestined by the Father to be shaped and molded to be like Jesus Christ! I will continue to be sanctified and grow in Him until the glorious day I get to go and live with Him in Heaven.

Now, the basic premise of the book was how to allow God to transform your heart and so live a life glorifying Him with your emotions and behaviors. But the area I struggle with is letting God do the changing. I am prone to legalism. I want you give me a set of rules to follow, and then I will try very hard to do as they say on my own strength. It doesn't matter if I fail, thank you very much, but I got this and I don't need help... Or so my wicked heart likes to think. But Chester likes to point out that we can't do it by ourselves. That is why we decide to read books like You Can Change. We know that there is a standard and we are not meeting it. So we try to fix our sin issues with setting rules, making resolutions, etc. But the Bible makes it clear that by trying to live a "good" life on our own will get us nowhere. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." It is only by Christ grace that we are saved. As children of God there is nothing we can do to make Him love us more or less!

Chester points out, "Grace is so simple to understand and yet so hard to grasp. It's not its complexity that makes it difficult. The problem is that we seem to be hard-wired to think we must do something to make God favourably disposed towards us. We want to take the credit." Think about how ugly that is. We want to take the credit for what Christ has already done. By trying to prove ourselves by our good works, we're saying, in effect, that the cross wasn't enough. Chester gives an amazing picture when he gives this imagery: "On the cross Jesus cried out: 'It is finished.' Imagine yourself answering back: 'Not quite. I need to finish the job. I still need to win God's blessing. This is ridiculous and insulting." Who do I think I am? God came to this earth as a man, lived a perfect life, died, and rose again so that sinners like me could receive grace. He endured more sufferings than any man has ever endured before or since as he held a perfect, clear conscience before God in one moment and then suddeny bearing the sins of the world was rejected by the Father and felt His wrath poured out upon His body. (Matt. 27:32-54) No one can fathom that. And yet I often say, "That wasn't enough" with my actions. It was enough! It was so beyond enough! My thankfulness to God for making me one of His children is inexpressible as I think of what I am saved from, and where my salvation will take me. The Lord snatched me from the fires of Hell to live with Him in all His splendour and glory forever and ever. Amen!

The only way to change, the only way to grow to be more like Christ is to focus on the gospel. I love how C.J. Mahaney points out in his book Humility, "There is only one thing I know of that crushes me to the ground and humiliates me to the dust, and that is to look at the Son of God, and especially contemplate the cross... Nothing else can do it. When I see that I am a sinner... that nothing but the Son of God on the cross can save me, I'm humbled to the dust... Nothing but the cross can give us this spirit of humility." We have to let our hearts become broken over our sin. It is only when we see how great the glory of the cross is and what Christ did there do we even begin to grasp just how great our sin is!

This study has caused me to completely rethink my sin and how it relates to the cross. There are many reasons not to sin... It has a negative impact on you, it hurts people around you, etc. But most importantly, it grieves the heart of God. I know I will struggle with sin for my entire life, but I am so grateful that Kaleo did this book, so that I was able to realize that I am suppose approach sin leaning on Christ rather than my own strength! With the Spirit's help, I'll not forget it!

Door of Faith

2010-01-02T14:50:00.000-08:00

BRING ME HOPE RETREAT 2010

DOOR OF FAITH ORPHANAGE

THE DUMP

The Sunday after Christmas I went to Door of Faith Orphanage with all my Bring Me Hope friends for the retreat. What an awesome way to spend a retreat- others focused! We got to put on a camp (memories of China flooded back!) for about twenty of the one hundred kids that live there. DJ and Lynette, the on-sight administrators of the orphanage, are so wise and have created a Christ-centered refuge for the children there. DOFO has three main priorities that make it different from most orphanages in Mexico. I copied and pasted them from the website (dofo.org) because they are so good! They are:

Family: To provide family atmosphere for the children. They see the traditional family as the ideal model and want their children to experience all of the stability, love and guidance that comes from that.
Education: To prepare their children for life after Door of Faith. They want their children to have a strong education so that that when they move on from the orphanage they can be healthy and productive members of society.
Community Service: To live Christ’s example of a life of service. They want to give back to the local community through service, outreach and compassion. To love their neighbor as ourselves.

These three things, with a Biblical foundation, have made this orphanage what it is! The staff clearly loves the Lord with their whole heart and are doing an incredible job at loving the kids and raising them to be strong, fruitful members of society. I was so amazed by their wisdom in how to care for, provide, and raise up one hundred children! They are more than just doing it... they are doing it well, and giving God all the glory!

On the second to last night DJ took the time to sit down with our team and give us some advice. As a group of people committed to being involved in missions to one degree or another we were, of course, ecstatic. He told us two things that stood out to me in a big way.

The first was that, "You can't be something on the mission field that you haven't already lived out and practiced at home." What a good reminder that you aren't going to magically become someone who you aren't when your situation changes! I see myself thinking something along that line every now and then. I say to myself that I will learn to serve with joy when I am married; I will learn how to say, "Yes!" when all I really want to say is "NO!" when I am a mother. But the thing is, life doesn't work like that. God is using the circumstances and people in my life right now to teach me those kind of lessons, because they are lessons to be learned! Praise God that he loves me enough to constantly be conforming me to "the image of his son" (Rom. 8:29). It is nothing but pride to think that I will all of sudden get everything right when I am married, or a mother, or on the mission field. I am so thankful to God for using TJ to remind me of that!

The second thing he said was that, "Tragedy in the world's eyes is opportunity in God's eyes." And this was coming from a man with experience. He told us that, on average, DOFO is confronted with two major spiritual attacks a year. Whether it is a child dying, dissension among the staff, a natural disaster in the area, hard situations in a staff member's hometown, etc. Satan likes to hit them hard. And yet, He could honestly testify to God's grace and mercy in their lives, and praise him for what he has taught each of them and how each situation has impacted DOFO. It was so incredible to heart him say that!

On the last day we got up at 5 a.m. and drove about an hour to make/serve Breakfast at a church that faithfully feeds breakfast to around one hundred children six days a week. These children live on a dump. Some with their parents, some without. They make an average of $5 a day off gathering recyclables and turning them in. My heart broke as I saw these precious children hungrily wolf down as many plates of eggs and tortillas their tummies could fit because they could not be sure if they would get lunch or dinner that day. I spent a few minutes talking (with my small Spanish vocabulary) to two sisters and trying to get the embarrassed younger one to eat. I did the classic airplane-into-the-mouth technique, and her face lit up as I made funny faces and tried to sound like a jet. I felt so glad to have made her smile :)

After breakfast was over, we went outside and some of the kids decided to show us where they lived. The community has taken thousands of tires and used them as stairs, barriers, and anything else they can think of. Grass and plants have sprung up in the dirt that is in and around the tires, causing them to almost become a part of the hills. The slopes are covered in garbage and their homes are made out of everything from garage doors to sheets of metals. If it can be used to provide shelter, they are utilizing it. But beyond all that I saw something that most people wouldn't expect. Joy. As we played jump rope and "futball" with the children, it was clear that they were having a good time. We spoke to some men who attended the church and the smiles on their faces were so BIG! The men were actually in the process of slaughtering a pig, and thought it was great sport to watch the sheltered American's faces as they cut it's head off! I will spare you the gory details... ;-) These people don't have much beyond the bare necessities of food and shelter, but when it comes down to it they were happy. Seeing things like that give me little faith in the American standards for happiness- money, position, and things. Why would you waste time, money, and effort pursueing those worldly things when there are people who are living on $5 a day and are content?! It has been years since I realized that I don't want to live an average American life, and being with these beautiful settled the fact. I went hoping to bless them... but (like what usually happens when I go on a missions trip) they blessed me in a much bigger way. I will never forget those children or their families who, despite living on a garbage heap, have found joy <3>

Christmas!

2009-12-26T14:44:00.000-08:00

Christmas was so wonderful! We kicked it off with a family get together on Christmas Eve, and the event was blissful. Aside from opening presents (need I mention how fun that is???), we had a beautiful time of family worship, Scripture reading, and prayer. Daddy worked it out so that we took turns reading a passage out of the Bible about the birth of Christ and then we would sing a Christmas song. It was so special to re-focus together as a family and meditate on the reason for the season. It was a classic Harow/Varnell get together with lots of loud kids running around (OK! Maybe that was just the Varnell half...lol ;-) and I couldn't help but feel joy in my heart! How I love my family! I am so blessed to be a part of each of their lives!
I am so grateful to God for sending his son as a newborn babe to grow up and take upon himself the sins of the world. It fills me with awe and wonder. And I don't just feel that way at Christmas. That is a wonderful part of being a follower of Jesus Christ- you can be excited about his birth any time of the year! And I am going to use that as an excuse for why I just changed my Christmas blog music today...lol just kidding :-D
Christmas went down without a hitch and we all woke up to find precious notes from Mom in our stockings... she is so faithful! She is trying to make it a tradition and this was her second year doing it. This was her note to me:

My precious daughter, I love you more than I could ever express with words. You amaze me each and every day with your heart for the Lord and our family. This year you have grown in so many ways and it has been such a joy to watch you become a woman of God. I love our late night talks and then I appreciate you bringing me my cup of coffee in the morning to wake me up. You are a gracious young lady in more ways than I can count. I am savoring each and every day with you and not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for bringing sweet you into my life. You are nothing short of incredible. I am very proud, but know it surely hasn’t been about the mom I am. I know you are who you are because of Christ in you. Your life truly glorifies Him!I love you forever and always!

Isn't she a sweetie? I am so blessed by her! If you think about the fact that she wrote 13 heart-felt letters like that after everyone went to bed on Christmas Eve (meaning LATE) you get just a glimmer of how selfless she is :) My parents are so dedicated to each of us kids and they make Christmas fun every year!

P.S. You can read our family's Christmas letter on my mom's blog if you click on the link below :)
http://varnells.blogspot.com/2009/12/very-long-2009-christmas-letter.html

Here I Come!!! (Round 2)

2009-12-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

My Chilean friend, Claudia. She was amazing! And she laughs like Santa!!!

Depending on who you ask... the girls dominated the boys in the snowfight ;-)

We went sledding on trash bags :D

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Tonight I found out that I will be able to attend the Bring Me Hope Retreat this year! Last year I knew only two people out of the entire BMH group, but this year it will be like a family reunion ;-) I built so many great relationships while I was in China, and I CAN NOT WAIT to see all my friends! Well, that is all... I just thought I would post some pictures of last year and let you all know how excited I am right now!

A Gift

2009-12-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

^"14But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, ¹⁵and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. ¹⁶All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

~II Timothy 3:14-17~

(emphasis added)

I am extremely blessed to have been born and raised in a Christian home... and not just a home where people are okay with God, but in a home where my parents have raised us to love and worship Him. The passage above was a part of this morning's family Bible reading, and as I heard those words I was once again reminded how blessed I am! No, I don't live in a "perfect" family (after all, we happen to be a bunch of sinners saved by grace!), but I do live in a family were Christ is esteemed and family is valued. One thing about being born and raised in a Christ-centered family is that I think I have a greater responsibility to be a light in this dark world.

A few weeks ago I gave a speech in class about missions. I ended it like this,

"We are extremely blessed to have been raised in Christian homes where we have been given a superior education, discipleship, and a good understanding of Biblical things. With these great blessings comes great responsibility. Someday we will stand before God, accountable for our actions. We are like the slave in the parable who had been given 5 talents. It is our job to take those “talents” that God has given us and multiply them. Imagine how angry the master would have been at the slave who was given 5 talents if HE had buried it and returned the same amount. It wouldn’t matter that he had returned more than the slaves who were given 2 and 1 talents. He would be held accountable for wasting the gift his master had given him, and it is the same for us."

God gives each of his children special gifts and abilities that He can use to bring Himself glory. One of the gifts he gave me was to be raised in a country where my parents were free to disciple me and teach me the ways of the Lord from the time I was a young child and that they did/continue to do so with great vigor. Someday, I hope to be able to pour some of the knowledge they gave me into the cups of people who have never heard the name of Jesus!

Hear the Bells!

2009-12-07T12:33:00.000-08:00

I love poetry! I love reading it, memorizing it, and hearing it recited. One of my favorite subjects to teach the kids is language because the curriculum we use encourages poetry memorization. I love coming up with funny hand motions or dances to fit the words of poems like "Mr. Nobody" or "The Goops". A poem that my mom taught Noah (11), Gabe (11), and Veronica (10) a few months ago was the first part of "The Bells" by Edgar Allan Poe. Though it was fall when they memorized it (and not really applicable...) they tucked it away in their memories, and the time has finally come to pull it out again! The words to this cheerful piece are as follows:

Hear the sledges with the bells-

Silver bells!

What a world of merriment their melody foretells!

How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,

In the icy air of night!

While the stars that oversprinkle

All the heavens, seem to twinkle

With a crystalline delight;

Keeping time, time, time,

In a sort of Runic rhyme,

To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells

From the bells, bells, bells, bells,

Bells, bells, bells-

From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells

Bells. Christmas bells! Can you hear them? Do you see the snow? (Ok, if you live in Southern California, like me, then maybe not, but lets just pretend) ;-) Bells, snow, pretty lights, hot chocolate, warm fuzzy books, holiday cheer, nativity scenes... *sigh* Ever since the day after Thanksgiving, I have been excited about Christmas. I bought twenty of my favorite Christmas jingles, combined them with the twenty (or more) songs I already had, and I can finally say I have a REAL Chrismas Playlist :) Ask anyone in my family... all I want to do is listen to Christmas music, watch Chrismas movies, read Christmas books, put up Christmas decorations... I think you get the picture! Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love snuggling up with my family, fellowshipping with my friends, and the general air of joy and holiday bliss that seems to take over any negative atmospheres that once existed. But despite all the wonderful things that the Christmas season brings, I do not want to ever be distracted from the true reason for the season... Jesus!

I cannot say thank you to Him enough for coming to our earth as a newborn baby only to live a hard life and die a cruel and terrible death. That special night that God sent his son to be born the angels sang and the shepherds ran to see His face in the shape of a child. Baby Jesus. Often I wonder if Mary had some fun telling the story of her first child's birth... I mean, come on! Women love to tell birth stories, and hers happens to top every birth story of all time! How many women can say that they almost had a baby on the back of a donkey, ended up finding a stable to give birth, and then at the moment their child entered this world angels filled the heavens and sang praises to Him? None other than Mary, wife of Joseph, mother of the living God. Then again, how many women can say they watched their son live a perfect life and then get hung on a cross as a common criminal when He had done nothing wrong? None other than Mary, wife of Joseph, mother of the living God. As I think of the great joy that encompassed that spectacular night in Bethelehem I wonder, Did she know? Could she imagine the pain that her son was destined to go through, the pain she would feel as a helpless mother unable to stop the wrath of God pour out upon his perfect son on the cross? I doubt she knew... how could she? It was not her place to know, but as a servant of God she laid down her life to serve him in whatever way he asked. Mary is an inspiration to me. I would love to be just like her and no matter what God asks me to do reply, "I am the Lord's servant."

That precious gift God chose Mary to carry for nine months and then present to the world in swaddling clothes was the Savior of all the world. All of history points to Him and the climax was His death on the cross. As I enjoy this joyful time of the year, I praise God that He has chosen me! I am infinitely grateful that he DID send His Son, and that Jesus DID die on the cross! Let this time be a season of joyful thanksgiving to our Lord!

Happy Birthday to the Bestie!

2009-12-05T20:24:00.000-08:00

Today was one of my best friends, Alicia's 17th birthday! Last night we threw a surprise party for her and it was amazing! Though there were many close calls, everyone managed to keep quiet enough and she was truly surprised :) After pizza we went on a scavenger hunt for the most random items (think painted board, sock with a hole in it, dessert items, etc.) Someone was even throwing a welcome home party for the man of the house, who had been gone serving our country in Iraq, and they let us come in! The festivities in that house were definitely a great example of Christmas cheer (and I am ALL about Christmas cheer!)
Thank's Al, for being the bestest friend a girl could ask for! You are always willing to talk, to encourage me in my walk with the Lord, or to just be crazy with me! You bring out the little girl in me on a regular basis, and I love you for that ;-) It's been three years of ups and downs, laughter and tears, and I thank God for every minute of our friendship! I wouldn't trade you for the world! I love your heart for Jesus! Keep shining for Him! I know you will serve God in great ways as you continue to seek to follow Him! Love ya, babe! I'm lookin forward to 70 or 80 more years of fun and service to our king :D

Oh Brothers!

2009-12-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

Tonight my brothers had me giggling, smiling, and being thankful that God made me a big sister! This was a Fight Lab night, so we went to our boxing classes. On the way home my Dad was giving everyone a talk about being quiet when we got home so that we wouldn't wake up the babies. He then directed a couple comments towards one of my eleven year old brothers, Noah, hinting that he was generally the loudest. Noah's reply made me smile. He said, "Dad, God gave me a loud mouth for a VERY important reason. Someday, when I grow up, I am going to talk to lots of people and be very in-spir-ational. I will be real good at it because I am practicing now. So ya see, it is really a gift from God!" Well, my Dad was curious to know who had told him these things and Noah replied enthusiastically, "I had a vision. Actually a dream, but it felt like a vision... I dreamed I was talking to a whole bunch of people and they were actually listening to me!" At that point the whole car bust out laughing :D
Later, I was messing around with my seven year old brother, Josh, when he started talking smack about his "skills" in jiu-jitsu. I jokingly said to him, "I don't care how good you are, I can still take you down!" He looked at me real serious and said, "Amanda... I INVENTED the take-down." and quietly walked away. Once again, I couldn't help but laugh :)
My little brothers are certainly good for entertainment! AND they are cute! They are definitely the whole package... but shhhhh! Don't tell them I said that ;-)

A Grateful Heart

2009-11-30T20:12:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite worship songs is called "Give Thanks." The lyrics go like this...

Give thanks with a grateful heart,

Give thanks unto the Holy One,

Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son!

That describes EXACTLY how I was feeling on Thanksgiving, last Thursday. Like many people, I can not even count how many things I have to be thankful for, but everything I have starts with Christ and his sacrifice for me! All pales in comparison when I meditate on the cross and what happened there 2000 years ago. Sometimes (like right now...), I am OVERWHELMED by my Savior. I am in AWE of what He has done for me. It's not like I deserve his grace! I deserve justice, which for me would mean Hell. That gives me chills to think about. Every young girl dreams of a prince who would be willing to give his life up to save her from something, anything.... My prince sacrificed Himself for me totally and completely and gave me LIFE when I was DEAD in my sin! WOW!!! That is why he is at the top of my "things-to-be-thankful-for" list... he has basically swept me off my feet ;-)

Salvation was the ultimate gift God could give me, but He has even taken it a step further. He has rescued me out of the miry clay and made my wicked heart white as snow, and now as I walk with Him he blesses me in "countless" ways. So, in honor of all my Lord has done for me, I will now be blogging once a week about a random number things that I am thankful for. I have decided to toss the one-blog-post-a-week thing out the window... God is doing so much in my life and I want to start sharing more. Also, I have been totally inspired by Jasmine Baucham's blog (http://joyfullyathome.blogspot.com/). She blogs almost every day and it is always so encouraging. I definitely aspire to be like her! One thing I really like about her blog is the interactive nature of it all. She often ends a blog post with a question to spark discussions and it is so cool to hear people's thoughts! So in hopes of hearing YOUR thoughts I must ask: what are some things you thankful for?

Elisa's 9th Birthday!

2009-11-22T16:19:00.000-08:00

Elisa... The Birthday Girl!!!

Elisa looooves hats :)

Christmas is almost here!

Fun glasses!

The guy behind her found a sea star and let her hold it!

We had so much fun!

Elisa fell asleep listening to her new music box on the way home... so precious!

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Last Saturday was Elisa Rebekah's 9th birthday!!! My friend, Kelly, was gracious enough to take us to the mall and Dana Point in Orange County. We had a blast shopping around, trying on hats (!), eating DELICIOUS bagels, and visiting some tide pools. It was definitely one of those special moments when, as we were walking to the car, Elisa said, "This has been the best birthday EVER!"

P.S. THANKS, KELLY, FOR AN AWESOME DAY! WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU! YOUR SERVANT HEART IS AN INSPIRATION!!!

My Heart is Heavy

2009-11-15T22:06:00.000-08:00

...for my Christian brothers and sisters who are being persecuted for their faith.

*This video is graphic, so I would ask that you not watch it with children and use discernment before allowing junior high or high school students to view it.

** You will need to turn off my audio player to hear the audio on this video. My music player is found at the bottom of the page.

On Sunday nights I attend Kaleo, my church's college ministry. Tonight the message was about prayer and near the end Pastor Cobb spoke of our need to remember the persecuted church. He showed us this video and it brought me to tears. Within the first few minutes I was begging forgiveness of God for forgetting my brothers and sisters who are in such dire circumstances because of their faith. When I am in situations where I am forced to see the reality that people are being murdered, beaten, starved, and so much more simply because they won't deny the name of Jesus I cannot help ask myself, "How do you EVER forget???"

Hebrews 13:3 Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

I NOW HAVE 12 SIBLINGS!!!

2009-11-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

Wow... I have not blogged for one month! It seems like it was months and months ago that I was sitting at my desk reminiscing about rain and friends because so much has happened. Just days after writing that post, my family heard about a little girl, Ai-Lin, who was in need of an adoptive home. Originally from Taiwan, she was residing in Hawaii (where my grandparents live), and my parents (not to mention the rest of us!) were eager to welcome her into our family! Hence the last month has been an insane flurry as we have done homestudies, social worker visits, paperwork, rearranging of rooms, etc. in hopes of getting Ai-Lin here as soon as possible. In my mom's blog post announcing Ai-Lin's arrival she described the adoption process as, "exhausting and at times excruciating, but all is worth it the moment the dream of welcoming a precious child into our home becomes a reality." There couldn't be a better way of describing it! The last 30 days have been full of near-sleepless nights and heavy-hearted prayers, but she is finally here and we have been so blessed by her!
She came home to us Sunday morning and it has gone wonderfully so far. Adoptive educators often talk of a "honeymoon period" when the child is happy, the family is happy, and all is bliss. We are certainly having a good "honeymoon." She is absolutely precious! Her favorite things are food, piggy back rides, and Daddy's beard ;-) She has melted right into the family and gets along great with everyone. Her tender heart has even recognized the need to be extra kind to Isaac (our brother who is deaf and has Cerebral Palsy.) She will pat him, smile, and say kind things to him all the time. I am so thankful to God for bringing her into this family, and making me the oldest of THIRTEEN children!
I am also praising God that, in His wisdom, he guided me and my parents to keep me home from school this semester. As my time at home progresses I am beginning to think that my commitment to staying home will last much longer than a semester or two. As the oldest child, I feel a burden for my parents ministry to, "rescue orphans in their distress," and hope to bless them and work with them to care for the beautiful children God brings into our family! Who knows how long it will be before another blessing makes his or her way into our arms?!

It's Raining Memories!

2009-10-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

Witney, Grace, and Tina

Fanfan

Michelle

Bambi and Shiloh

Al-The-Gal

Today, we are having our first rain of the season! An endless blanket of grey clouds have covered the sun, and a chill is in the air. As I put on my ugs and big sweater, I couldn't help but think back to the last time I felt rain drops on my head... in China. There it was a warm, summer night and just a couple days before Alicia (one of my besties) was going to head back home. It had been a long day full of orphan-drama and tired translators when Al ran up to me, right before the Translator and Volunteer meetings, and said, "It's raining! We have to go dance in it!" My first reaction was, "Um, yah, sure.... what do I look like? A 5 year old?" and "That is sooo not 'mature'," but Al got the best of me and next thing I knew the meetings were over and we were running downstairs to greet the wetness and to have a blast! After a stressful day it felt good to just spin around, laughing and get soaked. No, it wasn't 'mature'... but I got over it, and soon we were GLOATING over the fact that we were acting like we were 5! Aw, sweet release :) Just another reason why I love my Al... because she always knows how to make me loosen up and just have a good time. God certainly blessed me when He gave her to me!

Now, I've been home from China for two months and it has been almost three months since we danced in the rain. All recollections of stress and struggle are fuzzy, while all those special moments where time stood still stand out in my mind. As I let one memory fade into another, Fanfan, Michelle, Bambi, Shiloh, Witney, Tina, Grace, Melody and so many other faces run through my mind. I will never forget China and the girls there that I came to love... Hopefully, I will get to go back someday soon, and return to the people who, as Witney put it, are "waiting" for me <3

Funny but True

2009-10-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

This clip was on Joshua Harris's blog :) My sister, Candice, and I had to laugh at the truth in what he was saying... and then feel just a liiittle convicted!

* You will need to turn off my music player to hear the audio on this clip. The music player is found at the bottom of the blog :)

My Mother's and Mine

2009-09-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

Last week, I was sitting in my sister's room when I found a hidden treasure... a 140 year old heirloom Bible that my grandma had given to my mom. I was captivated by its faded beauty when I first saw it years ago. When I was fifteen, I took it from its box only to place it on a shelf in my room with the impression that I would look through it sometime soon. Unfortunately, I more or less forgot about it and when I moved out of that bedroom it slipped from my mind completely. But now, a year later, I have rediscovered it! As I looked through its pages, full of newspaper clippings, pressed flowers, and papers with lists of verses on them, my curiosity was reawakened. As I read the words written so long ago I was taken over with awe. It says, "My mother's Bible and mine, in whose pages I have found peace and hope, and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, read them after me and may you find what I have, amen." I felt as if those words were meant for me. I was certainly filled with peace and hope as I looked up a few of the references written on a faded piece of paper in the middle of the Bible! I have always loved old things and this Bible is now very dear to me. I think about this special book and its contents often, meditating on the lives recorded in the "Births and Deaths" section and on the little notes written in its pages. It fills me with wonder to think about how incredible God's hand is in the lives of His servants. Though I never knew this Bible's first caretaker, I can see in its pages the impact the Word had on her life and the life of her heirs. It is evident that it was a source of great comfort and I am so grateful to be able to look through it now!

"As we look back

At generations gone by,

We, reflect on the memories

That serve as a tie.

Binding us together

With future and past;

And building a story

That forever will last."

- Taken from Generations Past by Shannon Fahine

Lily Among the Thorns

2009-09-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

On Friday I gave my first speech! It was quite an experience that I will not soon forget... ;-) I talked about the legacy of Amy Carmichael. Studying her life was such an inspiration to me as I continue to seek the set-apart life! Here is the written form of my oration:

Amy Carmichael: A Lily Among the Thorns
"You can give without loving, but you can not love without giving." These are the words of my great heroine - Amy Carmichael. Born into a middle-class Irish family in the late 1800's, it was assumed that Amy would grow up, marry, and live the life of a homemaker. But God had a different plan for Amy, one that did not fit the common mold. Amy Carmichael was ultimately led to become a mother and caregiver to the destitute women and children of India. By reflecting on the life of this virtuous woman, I hope to encourage you to take up arms in defense of the broken and lost as she once did.

One thing that really stood out to me as I was examining her life was how God called her at a rather early age. One Sunday afternoon, 17 year old Amy was walking with her brothers when they spotted an old woman hunched over with sticks tied to her back. On an impulse of the moment they decided to help her. The woman was slower than they had anticipated and soon many of the people from their church caught up to them and looked at their service with disdain. One woman even took the hands of her children and crossed over to the other side of the road! Amy and her brothers became very embarrassed and started to pray that no one important would come along. As the stumbled along, they approached a fountain. In hopes of distracting herself, Amy started to count the stones. All of a sudden she heard a voice saying, "Gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw... the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work which any many has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward." Amy looked around but saw no one who could have spoken to her. She soon realized that she had heard the voice of God. He had spoken to her from I Corinthians 3:12-14 and she was forever changed. After many hours of prayer about her purpose in life, Amy made the decision to follow Christ with all her heart and to hold nothing back. Rather than wait to "grow up" to start working for the Lord, Amy began almost immediately by reaching out to the factory girls (called Shawlies) and poor children in the town where she lived. Her experiences in opening and running "The Morning Watch Club" for orphans and "The Welcome" for the Shawlies proved to be of great value in the years to come. When she was 20 years old she had the opportunity to hear Hudson Taylor speak at a convention. While there she felt God calling her to the mission field, and so she applied to China Inland Mission. They ruled her health to be too fragile, causing her to eventually apply to the Church Missionary Society where she was accepted.

Initially, Amy traveled to Japan where she served for 15 months. But, after a visit to Sri Lanka, Amy felt sure that God was calling her to India and there she went, never to leave her beloved new country again. Upon arriving in the second most populous country in the world, Amy soon was exposed to the rather harsh culture of India, where the caste system and the Hindu religion governed the ways of the people. She was horrified to see young girls sold to Hindu temples as prostitutes for the priests’ "holy" pleasure, and so began her ministry as their Amma. She founded an organization which she called Dohnavur Fellowship which was really just a home open to any orphan child or woman trying to escape the forced prostitution of the Hindu temples.

One example of Amy's compassion for these people is Preena. Preena was a 7 year old girl while lived in a Hindu Temple. Her parents had given her to be used as a prostitute when she was just 5 years old to gain favor with the gods. She had tried to run away once, but she was promptly returned and was burned on her hands with red hot irons as a reminder to never run away. Two years later, while being prepared to "marry" the gods in a demonic ceremony Preena decided to run away again. A woman had tried to scare her with stories of the child-stealing Amma (the natives name for Amy) using her illustrations to explain how nice and safe the temples were, but the tales had an opposite effect on Preena! Preena escaped again and ran to the child-stealing Amma as fast as she could. Just as she had hoped, Amy and her band of Christians took her in and cared for her. Preena was just one of over a thousand children whom Dohnavur Fellowship took in during Amy's lifetime. Amy never turned anyone away and always shared the love of Christ with the lost and broken who rested in her comfortable home.

In her biography of Amy Carmichael's life, Elisabeth Elliot observed, "The preoccupations of seventeen year old girls - their looks, their clothes, their social life - do not change much from generation to generation. But in every generation there seems to be a few who make other choices. Amy was one of the few." Amy made the choice to live a life wholly devoted to Christ and separate in spirit from the world when she was just seventeen. Because of her obedience to her Heavenly Father, thousands, if not millions, of Indian women and children have felt the impact of her faith and endurance even to this day. Let us follow her example and seek after the, "the love that leads the way, the faith that nothing can dismay, the hope no disappointments tire, the passion that'll burn like fire," and become God's fuel!

Living the Good Life <3

2009-09-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

I have officially been home one month! Time has flown as I have worked back into the family schedule and have been savoring this special time in my life. While I was in China, God made it clear to me that He was calling me to serve my family with all my heart and with no distractions. For me, this meant no college classes and no job. I told God that I didn't see my parents being ok with that, so if it was really His plan, then I needed Him to "prove" it to me through them bringing it up. Literally within two days my mom was emailing me asking me what I thought about staying home this semester. After explaining to her how God had really been turning my heart towards my family, we agreed that I would not take any classes this semester or seek after work. During the last few weeks in China, when I knew what God had for me at home, I looked forward to going back to my family with eager expectation of the blessings I saw in my near future. It was an incredible feeling to be so content with my life in China while still being able to smile at my future at home. But in the back of my mind I was a little afraid that my life would not turn out as perfectly and I was imagining it.... Thank the Lord; there was really nothing to fear.
It took me a couple weeks to catch up on my sleep and figure out my role in the home after so long of an absence, but now a month into my new life everything is going even BETTER than I could have ever hoped for! I have taken over homeschooling Sofia (6), Joshua (7), and Elisa (8) and am having a blast! Some of our recent activities have included baking bread, writing/performing a skit (Check out my mom's blog for pics!), and leaf walks. In honor of my mom's motto to "inspire not require," I have had so much fun finding ways to make even math and grammar exciting. All their sweet comments about how I am their favorite teacher [besides Mom, of course ;-)] make my heart smile! It is such an incredible feeling to know that I am building memories with my siblings that I will have forever.
Some of the other jobs I set out to do upon arriving home were meals and laundry. In preparation for the days when I will have my own home to run, I have been experimenting with different recipes and been learning a lot about time management ;-) In a home where it is abnormal to do less than 3-4 loads of laundry a day, you can't get behind! My mom has been very gracious as I have made my share of mistakes in this lengthy process of homemaker growth. On the days where I am running around trying to juggle math worksheets, Elijah duty, and the dryer's beeping, I can't help but think of how blessed I am that God has put me in a home where I get hands on experience at being a mom every day!
Another awesome part about being home is all the time I have been spending with my mom. She is truly my best friend! Though I have been foolish in the past and not always respected her wisdom, she continually forgives me and is there for me. She welcomed me to do a Bible study with her, so now we get up at 5:30 to do a Beth Moore study on the fruit of the spirit. I have been so challenged by the Holy Spirit during this time, and it is so incredible to feel God working in my heart! On top of that, it was so special to me that my mom invited me to do this with her as those early hours are really the only "alone-time" she gets during the day. I am also studying speaking, debate, and some classic books under her tutelage with Candice and two of my good friends, Bethany and Kristen. It is very enjoyable to learn how to be a strong communicator for Christ, and I love sipping my favorite chai tea as we discuss some of my most beloved classics!
These days I am constantly amazed at how much God has blessed me! Tuesday was my 17th birthday and I got to go to Disneyland with my mom, Luke, Noah, Gabriel, Veronica, Joshua, and Sofia. While we were eating lunch at Denny's my mom asked me if there was anything in my life that I would change if I could. Without hesitation I gave an adamant, "Nope!" and smiled at her. The Holy Spirit has given me the joy of the Lord, and I feel as if my cup is overflowing! I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I am blessed with such supernatural contentement that it is easy for me to completely trust God. If there is one thing that God has been showing me over the past few months of my life, it is that nothing surpasses the joy of Lord when you follow His plan. Please be praying that I be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and continue to walk in His ways!

"Godliness with contentement is great gain." ~ 1 Timothy 6:6

P.S. I will be updating my blog each Tuesday (God willing...) from now on, so stay tuned! :-)

Witney <3

2009-08-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

Me and Witney chowing down on one of our favorite Chinese snacks... Chicken Feet!

---

Week four was destined to be a special week from the beginning. Patti, Chris, one of the volunteers named Clint, and I were given the opportunity to go pick up the children from the orphanage. We took a four hour bus ride into the mountains to pick up twenty of the twenty three orphans who would be joining us that week (the others would be arriving from foster homes in Xi’an). It was a beautiful drive and it was really special to get to meet all the children a few hours early! Because we had so many children, we had decided to split the camp into two teams – Blue Team and Green Team. We did everything separate apart from assemblies. This meant that our staff was also divided into two teams… Jon, Patti, and I were on Blue Team and Jeff, Kait, and Chris were on Green Team. Originally, this was a bit disappointing for me because I had been looking forward to spending lots of time with ALL my good friends on staff during the last week. We had gotten each of our jobs down to a science and could guide the groups from each activity to the next without much difficulty. But rather than keeping me in my comfort bubble, God had a plan.

The week before, one of our Chinese staff, Witney, had shared her life story during one of our staff meetings. During her story she began to cry and spoke of the emptiness she felt inside and how she was sad that she hadn’t gotten to know each of us foreign staff very well. My heart broke for her as she spoke of the darkness inside that I knew to be the result of not knowing Christ, but that she had no explanation for. That was Tuesday night of week three. During the rest of week three, I tried to reach out to Witney and slowly we began to be friends. She left for the weekend to take the children back to their orphanage, but when she returned Monday I went right back to pursuing her as a friend. Because our camp was split in half, I had a lot more time to dedicate to showing her Christ’s love. She had become good friends with Jon as well and so the three of us were able to have fun as Jon and I tried to impact her for Christ. We had so much fun playing games, getting ice cream, and just hanging out as she began to open up. Wednesday night came along and I began to notice that she was acting depressed. I asked her if she wanted to go on a walk and she consented.

It was around nine in the evening as we began to walk around the university. It is a beautiful campus with lots of trees, grass areas, gardens, parks, and brick paved roads. For the first ten minutes or so we barely said a word. We just walked along the path soaking in the peaceful atmosphere. But the Spirit had an agenda for that evening and He soon began prompting my heart to begin talking about Jesus. I had no idea what to say, but I knew I was supposed to say something. Finally, with butterflies rolling around in my stomach and a deep breath, I began to tell her different Bible stories that came to mind. As we walked she listened intently, but did not comment. After a little while I paused. This is so awkward! I thought, Jesus, I don’t know what I can say that is going to reach out to this girl… Please, Lord, help me, and give me the right words! We meandered down the path, silence once again reigning. I looked around me hoping to find a source of inspiration… and then I saw the moon.

In Xi’an one rarely sees the sky because the pollution is so awful. A thick, cloudy film generally blocks most of the stars’ lights from ever reaching the people in the city below, but not on that night. “Look, Witney, the moon is out! It is so beautiful. Look, it even has a face! Have you ever spoken to Mr. Moon before?” I asked. Witney looked at me like I was a little strange, but her gaze quickly shifted to see what I was so excited about. She stopped walking, and just stared. After what seemed like ages, she began to laugh. “It does have a face! This is something I have never seen before…” She was awestruck. We moved to a low wall so that we could sit and watch the beautiful sight when all of a sudden her smile turned upside down and she became melancholy. “Mr. Moon has a sad face,” she told me with a frown. I looked up again. It did seem to have a sad face. “Hmmm, well maybe he has something to be sad about. Does it make you think of anything?” I asked. She shrugged her shoulders. “Well,” I observed, “It makes me think of you.” Witney gave me a quick look and I just stared back at her. She rested her head on my shoulder and began to cry! I wrapped my arms around her and just held her.

After a few minutes, I felt the Spirit prompting me once again, and so I began to pray for her out loud. I asked the Lord to make Himself real to her, to show her His love, and to bring her to the saving knowledge of His death. It seemed as if the more I prayed the more she cried, and I knew that a spiritual battle was being waged for her soul at that very moment. We sat there for over thirty minutes as tears streamed down her face and mine. I prayed continuously, sometimes out loud and sometimes in my head. After she seemed to calm down I asked her if she had ever prayed before. She told me she hadn’t. “Well, Witney, you’ve told me that you can not persuade yourself to believe that God is real, but to be honest you are right… You can not persuade yourself. The Holy Spirit has to work in your heart and God’s love will do all the persuading that needs to be done. Maybe you should pray and ask God to show Himself to you. God is a gentleman. He will continue to knock on the door to your heart, but if you don’t open it He won’t force the door down. What do you think about that?” Witney looked at me and then looked down. She closed her eyes and we just sat there for a few more minutes. After a little while she looked and I asked her if she was ready to go back. She said she was, so we began to walk back to the hotel. I still don’t know if she prayed that evening, but I am confident that the Spirit was working in her heart either way.

Witney and I continued to become greater friend through the rest of week four and as it drew to an end we were both so thankful that we would have one more week together in Nanchang. It is so amazing to me how every time I set my mind on something looking one way, God changes it in such a way that it brings Him glory in ways I hadn’t even thought of! If anyone had asked me the Sunday before week four began what I wanted it to look like, I would have said that I wanted to spend my last week in Xi’an investing into the translators and strengthening the relationships I had built with the foreign staff. I am so thankful to the Lord that he gave me the opportunity to not only do those things, but to share His love with a girl who has a lot of emotional pain. I am even grateful that in His sovereignty He split the camps, providing me with more opportunities to be with Witney, and less distractions to prevent that relationship from growing strong! As I go into my last week in China I will be working in Nanchang (about a two hour plane ride from Xi’an), and Witney will be right there with me! May God use me to make Himself real to her.

Time Flies

2009-08-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

Whew! It has been two weeks since my last post, and I feel like I haven’t written in ages. Week three of camp came and went faster than I ever thought it could! For the first time I was solely Translator Coordinator with no surprise jobs. On Monday afternoon the last group of children arrived from the Zhengzhou orphanage and a fun week began! Tuesday was the first trip to the pool and the kids had so much fun going down the waterslides and playing in the mini water park. For the first time, even I was able to get a chance to go down the slides! I took turns “borrowing” orphans from their volunteers so that I could take them down and it was quite a bit of fun. Wednesday morning we had pottery. Though many of the kids had mental disabilities (making it semi-impossible for them to work at the wheel and make a real pot or bowl), they still had an enjoyable time molding the clay into little figures and a few even made attempts at the pottery wheel. In the afternoon we all went to the Big Goose Pagoda fountain show and had a blast running through the water! Thursday was back to the pool and the kids left Friday morning. It was a very successful week and many lives were impacted! I was particularly exhausted after that week, but we had a low key weekend and I was able to get rested up in preparation for the last week of camp. I am amazed at how quickly time flew, and I am so thankful to God for the many opportunities He has given me in these past weeks to show love to the orphans and translators!

Bambi and Shilo

2009-07-27T06:26:00.000-07:00

Well, the second week of camp is officially over! I got to experience camp through the eyes of a volunteer, and I learned a lot of lessons. Being a volunteer is definitely a lot of work, and to think that the translator’s job is even harder has grown a whole new respect for them in my heart. When I agreed to be a volunteer for the week, I had no idea what I was signing up for. The reality that a volunteer spends twelve hours a day joined at the hip to their orphan buddy for four days doesn’t hit home until you have experienced it yourself. I was so surprised at how exhausted I felt at the end of each day! Though it was tedious at times to not be allowed to leave Bambi’s side, it was such a rewarding experience. I was so blessed to spend time with Bambi and Shilo, and hopefully impacted them for Christ in a big way.

Bambi was a very interesting buddy to have because of her continual silence. She rarely spoke and Shilo and I struggled to understand her and her capabilities. At times she would stare at Shilo with a blank stare when she asked her to do something, and at others she would hop right to the task at hand as if it was no biggie. During the first couple days I tried really hard to get Bambi to speak to me, but she did not respond to me or Shilo’s gentle promptings to say something…. anything. When I realized that we weren’t going to get anywhere in the speech department, I shifted my focus to showing her the physical affection that she most likely misses out on at the orphanage. I gave her lots of hugs as well, as held her hand whenever we walked places, and she would glow with happiness. It was really precious how she would light up whenever Shilo and I would each take a hand and giggle as we walked. Though we were not able to talk about whether or not she was enjoying camp, the joy was evident on her face, and I know that she was happy for the few days that she was with us. I was so blessed to be able to be a part of her life during this last week, and really got to know Shilo through our mutual interest in Bambi’s life.

After Shilo arrived it didn’t take long to reach the conclusion that she was going to have a long week. She was very high maintenance, hard to please, and definitely NOT the ideal translator. When she complained about Natalie’s Chinese skills I felt sick… I knew that I would eventually meet a problem-translator like her, but I honestly didn’t expect it to be so soon! When Sam asked me to be her volunteer I was less than excited about the prospects… I expected it to be something of a nightmare. But God extends grace to those who are in need and I was definitely in need! By His mercy she was transformed in just a couple days from a snobby college student to a kind and compassionate big sister. She had been an only child her entire life, so this was her first experience caring for someone else. She learned how to be a good care-taker in a very short time and truly came to love Bambi. She would speak so gently to her and lovingly do anything to make Bambi comfortable. Then, on Wednesday we went to the mall to buy Bambi a blouse, and Shilo starting asking me about my faith. She asked all kinds of questions about Jesus, heaven, and what I thought about other religions. She had attended a Bible study for a time, so she had a lot of mature questions to ask. It was so exciting to get an opportunity to share Biblical truths with her and gently point her in the right direction. It was very touching when, at the end of the week, Shilo explained to me that the greatest impact this week’s camp had had on her was how everyone here was a “good Christian,” as she put it. She had met so many people at her university who claimed to be Christ-followers but were really only seeking glory for themselves, so when she saw the believers at camp serving Christ and loving Him with their actions she was deeply moved. On Friday night I wrote her a letter thanking her for her wonderful service at camp and in it I wrote, “I will continue to pray that you make that decision we talked about…” Later she came to me and said that maybe she would make the decision to follow Christ soon. I pray to God that she will come to the saving knowledge of His grace and that I will see her again one day in heaven.

I am so grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to plant seeds of Christ’s hope and love in Shilo and Bambi’s hearts. They are such beautiful girls and I am confident that I will see them again one day. Please be praying for both of them as the Holy Spirit works in their hearts in the upcoming months and hopefully draws them to Himself!

Change of Plans

2009-07-21T08:51:00.001-07:00

I came to China with very few expectations… Everyone’s stories were so different and unique! One of the comments I kept hearing over and over again was that I would be semi-sick of camp by the fourth week because of the tedious repetition. So, I came to China expecting each week to go more or less than same without many differences. Sure, there would be problems and obstacles to overcome, but the differences would still be within the mold of what camp was “supposed” to look like. Yet as I have begun yet another abnormal week of camp, I am starting to feel that I will not have time to get bored with any routine as each week of camp has proven to be anything BUT repetitive or monotonous.
As anybody who has been reading my updates knows, my first week of camp was very special and out-of-the-ordinary because of Fanfan. That was such a wonderful experience, but it certainly didn’t fit my or anyone else’s idea of what camp looks like. Now this week the BMH Xi’an camp team was confronted with another complication. Shilo, one of the translators, was unhappy to be paired up with Natalie, a volunteer, due to the fact that Natalie is fluent in Chinese. She asked to be given another partner in hopes of being able to practice her translating skills. This was just not possible due to the reality that everyone had already been paired and was adjusting to their assigned family groups. Sam decided that the next option was to make Natalie staff for the week and to choose one of the foreign staff to replace her. After talking to Valerie, Kait, Patti, and I, Sam reached the conclusion that it would be best for me to take on the role of volunteer and join Bambi (the orphan girl) and Shiloh’s family group. This was all decided Monday night, so I officially became Bambi’s volunteer this morning.
Bambi is a beautiful, sweet girl and is very obedient, but she is exceedingly shy and often pretends to not understand what Shiloh is saying to her. She didn’t say a single thing to me all morning! She was openly affectionate with hugs and would hold my hand, but no words. I was slightly discouraged after seeing her jabber away in clear, precise Chinese with the other orphans, but her behavior is all too common in children with attachment disorder. I have realized that she uses her speech as a means to control the relationships around her and to keep those whom she is unfamiliar with at a distance. She continued with her silent ways throughout the afternoon, but after a trip to the swimming pool she looked at me and said, “Jei jei,” which means big sister. She said a few more phrases to me throughout the evening, and each one was like a jewel. I can feel a bond growing between us that I am sure will only grow stronger during the next three days! I am so thankful to God for giving me this opportunity to be a ray of sunshine in her regularly dark world.
This week is not what I planned it to be, but God is in control and, as always, He has a better plan. Rather than distancing myself from the children and working solely with the translators as Translator Coordinator for all four weeks the Lord has provided me with heaps of opportunities to show love to His parentless children. I am quite certain that I will not feel that any of the next three weeks are repetitive as God is giving me a new and fresh perspective at each camp!

Pictures from Amanda

2009-07-17T12:03:00.001-07:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

Wo Ai Ni

2009-07-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of our first week of camp. Tomorrow at 7:45 a.m. the children will be off to the train station and the reality will set in that I will most likely never see them again. Tonight each family group got up during assembly and the volunteers got to read the letters that they had written to their orphan buddies. Some stood tall and serene, but most shoulders sagged under the weight of broken hearts as tears poured down their faces. I cried as I watched Cathy and Jane stand up with Fanfan, and I realized I was jealous. They had hardly seen her during the past three days… she was mine. I felt like I was the one who should be up there. But then Cathy tearfully began to read the letter that she had written. After she was finished, Jane attempted to translate what Cathy had said, but was overtaken with emotion and had to ask another translator to take over. By that point I was humbly repenting in my heart for being so ridiculous. We all loved Fanfan, and even though we each had different experiences and possibly even different kinds of love for her, we all wanted her to be happy. Fanfan started to cry as Sharon (the translator who took over for Jane) finished reading the translation. She hugged Cathy, who she had been rather cruel to during the past three days, and lovingly patted her hand. She understood that Cathy loves her, and that we all love her. After awards, letter reading, and limbo we had a cake fight! I have never had a cake fight before and it was loads of fun! Once all the kids went upstairs to shower, we staff had the fun task of cleaning up the cake, silly string, and confetti in the assembly hall. It took us about an hour to clean up the floor… the boys even started to joke that they were model Proverbs 31 women as they scrubbed the floor on their hands and knees. We had a fun time building memories as we danced to music with our brooms and mops as well as made up funny nicknames for each other.

As Michelle was tucking Fanfan into bed I stopped in their room. “Wo ai ni, Fanfan.” I said to her as I kissed her good night. “I love you, little sister.” “Wo ai ni, jie jie,” she answered. I stood their shocked. She had said she loved me. Up until that point, every time I told her I loved her she would shake her head no or roll her eyes. Tears welled up in my eyes and I left the room, my heart full of joy. God has so blessed me this week, and I am so thankful that He has given me this time with Fanfan and all the other kids. I know it will be a very sad time when we send them back to the orphanage tomorrow morning, but I prayerfully look forward to seeing them again… maybe not on this earth, but I am confident that we will sing praises to Jesus together in Heaven one day.

Beholding Beauty

2009-07-16T10:04:00.000-07:00

This morning Michelle (one of our Chinese staff) and I officially took charge of Fanfan due to some issues. We took her out to ice cream and then to a park in a university. While we were there, I had some time to reflect about some things that God has been working on in my heart, and I jotted down some of my feelings in a notebook. This is what I wrote:

Today as I watch Fanfan run around with my camera snapping photos of passing strangers and giggling with glee the cliché statement that, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” comes to mind. The world looks at Fanfan and has marked her as worthless and ugly, but to me she is beautiful. As I think of my sinful nature, I realize that she is not beautiful to me because of what I have seen in her, but because of what the Holy Spirit has shown me about her. She is silly, independent, dramatic, and inspiring, but most of all she is a child of the Living God. In just two short days the Lord has opened my heart to pour out unconditional love on this rejected child who can give me nothing in return, and the Holy Spirit has given me such joy in the experience! Valerie (one of our BMH staff) read a verse out of I Corinthians 1 a few days ago that said to follow after Christ and fulfill His commandments is foolishness to the world, and I think many worldly people would say that investing a summer into orphans and five days into Fanfan IS foolishness because what is there to gain from a poor, handicap orphan? In their eyes I receive nothing, but as a follower of Jesus Christ I know better. The Holy Spirit is working in me the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, faithfulness, and gentleness, as well as teaching me a selfless love that is hard to understand. If I take away only this from my entire seven weeks in China, it will be enough.

Love Never Fails

2009-07-15T12:40:00.001-07:00

It’s amazing how fast camp is going. Though it feels like yesterday, it has been four days since I sat with Patti as we went through the lists of translators, volunteers, and orphans and put them into family groups on paper. Then they arrived and very quickly became more than mere names on paper, and have developed into people I will remember for the rest of my life. My heart has grown heavy for the lost who have come to this camp as orphans and translators, and I rejoice with those who have found the straight and narrow. I do not remember ever feeling such deep sadness and overflowing happiness in such a short period of time. One source of both joy and sorrow is a sixteen year old girl named Zhang Fanfan.

Fanfan is mentally retarded and the most stubborn and independent child I have ever met. When she arrived on Monday afternoon, she immediately attached herself to one of our translators, Bruce, and would not let go. After a huge battle, one of our American staff, Jeff, was able to pry Fanfan off Bruce, but she was hysterical. If anyone tried to touch her she would kick, hit and try to bite them. Jane, her translator, was afraid to touch her or even to communicate what we asked her to say for fear of making her angrier. After a very long four hours, it was finally time for her to go to bed, and we left her in her room with Jane hoping that she would improve the next day.

Tuesday morning proved to be no better. Fanfan continued to scream at us for “Gaga,” which means “Big Brother.” It was quickly established that she was not emotionally stable enough to join in the group activities, and Jane and Kathy (her volunteer) spent the entire day trying to keep her entertained in her room. She continued to have bouts of screaming and crying, and would not be comforted by anyone. A couple times she even tried to run away from Jane and Kathy, so Jeff had to gently but firmly hold on to her from behind with her arms crossed to prevent her from hurting the people around her. Everyone involved was beginning to feel discouraged. Sam began to talk of the possibility of sending her back to the orphanage. Jane, who had been trying very hard to maintain composure throughout the day, finally said she wanted Fanfan to go because she was not happy. After everyone was in bed the staff held a meeting where we discussed what to do with Fanfan. We didn’t want her to feel like she was being punished, but at the same time she was clearly not enjoying the camp experience. After a long talk, Sam decided that we would give her one more day to improve, but if she didn’t get better we would have to send her home. I took on the responsibility of organizing activities to keep her occupied as we could not let her join the other campers because of the instability of her emotions. That night we all prayed fervently to our Heavenly Father to calm Fanfan’s spirit and to give her peace. Fast forward to Wednesday morning.

The staff was holding our morning meeting at 7 am, and all of a sudden Fanfan ran into the office… all SMILES! She ran around the room, giving everybody big hugs and then took off to play with bubbles. We all stood there shocked and gloriously happy. As I watched her I praised the Lord for His grace and asked that he would continue to work in her heart. She continued through the early part of the morning and was very easy going. At ten ‘o clock the rest of the campers left to go make pottery, and we decided it was best for me and Michelle (our amazing Chinese Camp Director) to stay at the hotel and see if she continued to be in such a good mood. As everybody walked downstairs, I had a little bit of time alone with Fanfan, and she became very upset. She wanted to be with everybody.

I felt pity for her, but it had already been decided that she was too emotionally unstable to go. Five minutes passed. She ran down the first of five flights of stairs and threw herself on the ground. As I sat there staring at her I had an idea what to do. I slowly opened my wallet and pulled out a five mao bill (the equivalent of about $0.60) and gave it to her. She stopped crying and looked at it wide eyed. She reached out her hand for more. I handed her a yuan (the equivalent of about $1.20). Fanfan’s face lit up into a big grin and she took off jogging down the stairs. Now, I am well aware that bribery is not generally a good means to control a child, but I was desperate! I happily ran after her and as we passed Michelle I called out to her to join us for a shopping trip and we all headed to the nearby convenience store. When we arrived I explained to her (through Michelle) that she was allowed to buy any two things. She quickly moved to the ice cream box and picked out two ice creams. After handing her the necessary cash to purchase her prizes she handed the money to the cashier and happily began eating her ice cream bar. That was the beginning of a wonderful four hours. After shopping for some medicine, Michelle and I took her on a picnic at the university and ate our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a beautiful park shaded by lots of trees. It was a very relaxing time as we sat there, taking in the beauty around us and exchanging smiles every minute or so. Once we had finished eating we gave her beads and string to make bracelets. She was very intrigued by the assortment of beads we had provided and began working intently on her first anklet. As I sat there staring at her I was overwhelmed by the girl that was sitting in front of me. She had been completely changed, and I couldn’t believe how different she was acting. Only God can receive the glory, for only God has the power to change a person so quickly.

While we watched her make the bracelets Michelle began to talk to her in Chinese. Usually she translates what she is saying for me, but in this instance she did not. All of a sudden Fanfan began to cry, and Michelle had tears flowing down her cheeks. I asked Michelle what she had said. She responded, “I told her that we love her because Jesus loves her, and that even though her parents reject her, and many people reject her, that Jesus still loves her and will always love her. But when I asked her if Jesus loves her, she says no. That is why she is crying. She does not think anybody loves her. That’s why I tell her that Jesus loves her. I want her to know we love her and that Jesus love her.”

At that moment I became so incredibly broken for Fanfan and for each of the orphans. How many children are living in this world absent of the knowledge that Jesus loves them? More than I want to admit. More than people like to talk about. It is a terrible realization to think about how many people are without the love of Christ, and so often we will go through daily life without even stopping to say, “Hey, Jesus loves you and I love you because He loves you. I don’t know how many times you have been rejected in this life, but Jesus Christ will never leave you or forsake you if you follow after Him.” I am so grateful that the Lord has made it possible for me to come to China and be reminded of His love… His unfailing, limitless love. My heart is tender as I move forward with an open mind to see what God has to teach me.

The Kids Have Arrived

2009-07-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today the kids came!!! It was so amazing! I am exhausted, but it feels sooo worth it. Translator Coordinating has turned out to be a little bigger of a job than I expected... I didn't make the connection that by being in charge of the translators I am basically automatically a huge part of taking care of the orphans because the translators are their primary caretakers. I am having a great time though, and we have such a great team!!! Definitely be praying that God strengthens me during the next few weeks as my exhaustion increases ;-)
(from an email to home)

Disconnected

2009-07-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

Whenever someone goes on a mission’s trip, people always give them lots of warnings about things to watch out for. “Don’t drink the water,” and “Prepare to make mistakes,” were just two of the helpful hints that people gave me before I left. I didn’t drink the water (although I had a close call…) and I am prepared to make mistakes and humbly ask forgiveness, but there were certainly things that I didn’t count on. For one, I hadn’t made the connection that being in a Communist country meant constantly being under the scrutiny of the Chinese government, and as it would appear, resting in the palms of their hands. Another interesting factor of the “China experience” is that the government is constantly blocking, unblocking, and re-blocking popular websites like Facebook, Shutterfly, Twitter, and even certain email applications such as Gmail. On top of that, my internet has completely stopped working and or phone jack is broken anyway, so communication has become extremely difficult. In times like these, it is easy to become disheartened. My mom and dad both sent me multiple emails yesterday asking me to get a hold of them, but we didn’t have internet so I wasn’t even aware of their concern. Now, on this Friday afternoon, we once again do not have internet and we can do nothing but pray that God will open up our connection. I am comforted as I remember that we serve an awesome God, and every obstacle we face is a part of His plan and will ultimately bring Him glory!

Amanda's Mom Here: I am posting Amanda's posts to her blog, and at this moment the internet is working. YAY for me:) Thank you for your love and prayers for our precious daughter. We are up and running again and prayerfully hoping the lines of communication will remain open and more blog posts are to follow!

X-Team on Wheels

2009-07-10T06:28:00.000-07:00

“We are really blessed because we got soft seats on the train to Xi’an! It will be a very comfortable ride.” These were the encouraging words of Sam, the Xi’an camp director, as our team prepared to head to the train station on Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately, just moments after we arrived we realized this was not going to be the easy ride we were expecting. We stood in front of the train, surrounded by Chinese people, being pushed and shoved as they tried to get in front of us. The first whistle blew. A Chinese officer started screaming at all the Chinese people around us and they reluctantly stopped shoving. We began to move our way onto the train, each person carrying at least two suitcases and a backpack (not to mention the boxes of camp supplies the boys were carrying), but the Chinese with standing tickets were literally standing shoulder to shoulder in the isle. The second whistle blew. With only one more whistle to go, Jon and Chris were still standing on the platform with multiple suitcases, duffle bags, and their personal backpacks. They rushed to jump on the train and managed to board within thirty seconds of our train’s departure! The team let out a cheer, giving the Chinese another reason to think Americans are weird. We were all so glad to be on the train, but we still had quite a few Chinese between us and our seats, and we still were trying to figure out where we were going to put our 30+ bags. It took us about fifteen minutes to reach our seats and to begin piling up the luggage wherever it would fit.

I was lucky enough to be pushing Maggie (Sam and Julie’s Chinese foster daughter) in her pram, so I got to play with her and try to answer all the Chinese passengers’ question, “How you get Chinese baby?” After they pushed and shoved the luggage into every possible space they could find, Sam and Kait (the only ones who had been able to get close enough to the seats to be piling the luggage), we all realized that there was almost no place to sit. The majority of the luggage had to be stacked on top of the seats and filled even where we were suppose to put our legs. With much huffing and puffing, Sam, Julie, their kids, Patti, Val, and Kait all managed to heave themselves on top of the luggage. The rest of us: Jon, Chris, and I, were left standing. Jon turned to me and said, “This is going to be a very interesting train ride!” And he was right… it looked like we were going to have a very uncomfortable six hours. But, God was watching out for us, and through a chain of events we managed to clear two seats making it possible for Jon and Chris to sit down and I found a suitcase that turned out to be pretty comfy. The rest of the train ride was pretty uneventful, and we all had fun playing cards, listening to each other’s ipods, playing with the kids, and taking turns using the three neck pillows we had brought for naps. We eventually arrived in Xi’an (eight hours after we departed… not six) and were met by Michelle, Sam and Julie’s Chinese helper.

As we all wearily trudged off the train carrying our luggage, a man saw Thomas and James (Sam and Julie’s sons) carrying heavy suitcases. He came over and offered to help us get to our destination. We were all so blessed by this angel of mercy, as it made it so that we didn’t have to get taxis! God continually blesses each of His children with situations like these that remind us that He is always watching out for us. When we finally reached Xi’an, we were all shocked at the awesome hotel we will be holding camp at and totally blessed by the joy of the Lord. My friend, Patti, pointed out, “Sometimes we minimize the power of the Holy Spirit and are afraid of experiential faith, and though, as Christians, we cannot base our whole theology and belief systems on our experiences, I think that often we deny the power of God by doubting that He is truly working in our lives.” Though the train ride was an interesting experience, it was another lesson to me of how God is constantly working in my life! His fingerprints are everywhere, and to see them all I have to do is look.

Now it is Wednesday, and the “X-team” has spent the past three days preparing for the camps to start. We are all so excited to get started, and were given our official camp job assignments this morning. I had already been given the job of Translator Coordinator before I reached China, but now I will also be Match Coordinator with Patti. Basically my jobs will be to do anything that involves translators (registration, meetings, translator party, encouragement when they are down, etc.), as well as match the translators with the right orphan buddy and American volunteer. As we count down the days to the first week of camp, the X-team has been faced with many obstacles to overcome and a number of problems to work through, but we serve an awesome God and we will continue to strive to bring Him glory!

PRAYER REQUESTS

That as many orphans as possible will be able to come. A number of orphanages have re-closed their doors to outside activities, and our prayer is that they few that are still open will stay that way and that the ones that are currently closed will open.

That the members of the X-team (Sam, Julie, Patti, Valerie, Kait, Chris, Jeff, Jon, and I) will continue to show Christ-like love to one another and to always remember to rely on God both in the mundane moments and the stressful situations.

There have been riots in Urumuqi which is in the Xin Jiang province. We are not close to this location, but it still has an effect on all of China (We are unable to email pictures, access Facebook, etc.) Please be praying that peace is restored, for the souls of all people involved, and that the families of those who have died in the riots.

"The Beginning"

2009-07-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

I am officially in China! The 13 hours of flights Chris and I took were as comfortable as could be expected and we landed on time in Beijing Wednesday night. There was a little confusion with who was picking us up and where, so we did have to wait at the airport for around three hours for someone to pick us up, but it was a perfect opportunity to learn to trust in God! When I was at an airport with a friend, no cell service, and no English speakers, all I could do was pray and know that every obstacle I faced wass a part of God's sovereign plan to draw me closer to Him.

Once we were picked up, we spent the night at our Canadian friend Kait’s aunt's house and were very comfortable. Because of the time change we woke up at 5:30 am, despite the fact that we hadn't gotten to sleep until 1 am! It was an early start to a great day. We leisurely showered, ate breakfast, and got ready for the day, and then we were off to tour Beijing! We took the subway to Wan Fu Jing, a huge market full of cute little Chinese ladies trying to persuade us "pretty ladies" to buy their wares. We had a fun time sight seeing and walking around the city. It was so fun to hang out with Kait, Bethany, and Chris, and we even posed for a picture with a very excited Chinese man ;-) We left Beijing at 3 pm on a flight to Zhengzhou where we met up with the rest of the Bring Me Hope staff team.

Once we reached ZhengZhou and Sias University, I finally got to meet the amazing people I will be working with this summer in Xián. The BMH staff team will be spending this weekend in Sias bonding and growing as a team before we separate into the three camp locations: Zhengzou, Kunming, and Xián. This morning, David, the BMH director, announced that we would be getting massages to prepare the stress we will be under in the next 6 weeks. I thought it was pretty funny considering I was expecting a little less comfort, but we all had a great time laughing and joking about everything. We also have been playing a hilarious game called 'The David Game." We each received BMH lanyards, and are not allowed to say "David" or whoever hears you gets your lanyard. It has been quite entertaining as people have fallen for all kinds of tricks. I had just been able to get TWO lanyards from my friend, Luke, when Mr. Headin (camp director at Kunming) came up to me with a picture of his daughter. He said, "She is so cute... her hair is pretty wild though, so we call her Baby Crowder after that guy in that band... what's his name?" I totally fell for it and promptly answered, ""David Crowder." It's these kind of experiences that are knitting the BMH staff's hearts together. I have already made so many friends and am looking forward to working with Patti, John, Jeff, Kait, Valerie, Chris, and the Vidler family in Xi'an. I am having a wonderful time and think of everyone at home all the time. The only hard thing about being here is not being able to talk to my family. I miss everyone so much! Thank you for your prayers!

P.S. Great news: China has opened up its orphanages!!! We were concerned because the Chinese government had closed all their orphanages due to their fears about the Swine Flu spreading, but they have been reopened and we are back in business. Thank you, Jesus, for answered prayers!!!

A Great Journey is About to Begin!

2009-06-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

In less than eighteen hours I will have begun the trip of a lifetime to the place I have been dreaming about for the past nine months - China!!! I will arrive in Beijing on Wednesday and then take off once again to head to Xin Zheng where the Bring Me Hope staff will be holding a summit. We will begin the next six weeks with a weekend of prayer, worship, and fellowship as we prepare to minister to "orphans... in their distress." After the summit, I will be heading to Xi'an with my team. This is where I will be serving for five weeks.
As the Translator Coordinator for my location I am looking forward to reaching out to the translators, ministering to them, and hopefully finding lots of opportunities to share the Gospel! I know I will make mistakes, but I pray that God will keep me humble and that all my actions may bring glory to Him. Though the tasks ahead can seem daunting, I know that if I lean on my Savior, He will not abandon me. Thank you in advance for all of your prayers! I know I will be needing them, as will the orphans and BMH team.

Please pray for the Bring Me Hope team:

- Safe travel to China and that no one would be quarantined when arriving to the country (Some officials are withholding permission to enter the country if potential Swine Flu carriers are also traveling on the same plane)
- Logistics of getting everything to China (Guitars, Games, Crafts, etc.)
- For health of those involved in helping with the Summer Camps
- Love between all the staff members
- Peace in the midst of fear and unknowns
-God’s strength for those helping to lead camp
- For good documentary footage that will later challenge people to reach out to needy children
- For the staff to keep their eyes on Jesus
- That God would keep the doors open for lots of orphans to come to camp this summer
- Strength, Peace and Joy from the Lord so people may see and know that He is God

Please pray for me personally that:

- I will keep my eyes on Jesus and not forget my purpose
- I will be humble and have a teachable spirit as I learn new things and work with new people
- I will get lots of opportunities to share the Gospel with the translators
- I might show unconditional love to the orphans

Thanks again for your love and prayers!

P.S. For those of you who are interested in finding out more about Bring Me Hope, check out their website at www.bringmehope.org :)

Mother/Daughter Cruise '09

2009-06-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

My mom took my sister Candice and I on a cruise to Catalina Island to celebrate my graduation! We left Thursday afternoon (the 11th) and returned Sunday morning. We had a lot of fun touring and shopping at the stops, and Candice ensured that we had a blast partying on the boat! It was pretty funny to see how my vision of the cruise (filled with reading and naps) clashed with Candice's idea of fun (make a lot of friends, dance, and stay out till 2 am), but it all panned out so Candice had sufficient fun and I had some time for reading! We did end up making some good friends including Lexi, a girl who has cerebral palsy (the same disease as my brother, Isaac) and two nice sophmore boys, Cody and Mitchel. As none of them are saved, I felt like God put them right in our path so that we could lift them up in prayer! Though I doubt I will ever see them again on this earth, I do hope and pray that God will draw them to himself, and that they might come to know the saving grace of Jesus Christ so that I can sing praises with them in Heaven!
Probably one of the best parts of the cruise was the mother/daughter time Candice and I got to spend with our mom. This past semester has been so crazy for all of us, and it was nice to be able to hang out and relax together. We began each morning with Girl Talk by Carolyn Mahaney over breakfast and Mom continued to encourage us to pursue Christ with all our hearts in heart-to-heart talks throughout the voyage. It was such a blessing to have that time with her after the past few months. She is such a great mom, and it is wonderful to have the clear, open line of communication she continues to pursue with us. We all hope to make our mother/daughter weekend an annual tradition and plan to do it every year for the rest of our lives! Below are some pictures of our trip...

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I came prepared to catch up on all the reading I had missed over the semester...

Candice had different ideas!

Sisters = Best Friends Forever

Fine Dining... that first night I felt way under-dressed!

Heading to Catalina Island!

It was so refreshing to walk along the coast and just breathe in the fresh air!

I kept wanting to call it Count Olaf's Ice Cream... but either way it tasted mm mm good!

Elegant Night

La Bufadora

Me: "We shouldn't go down there... see the wet side walk?"

Mom: "Nobody looks wet... we will be fine!"

2 minutes later... SPLASH! and we got very wet!

Thank You Jesus for Awesome Cruise Trips!

Graduation :D

2009-06-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official... I am a home school high school graduate! My parents graduated me on Friday with a beautiful speech (that made me cry) and a touching slide show (that made me cry even more). We then celebrated yesterday afternoon with a big luau! It was so amazing to see how many people were there who love and support me. God has truly blessed me with such a wonderful group of friends and family! I am so grateful to everybody who has played a role in my life, whether you made it to the graduation or not, and thank you for loving me!

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After I officially graduated, Kristen, Alicia, and Bethany spent the night and helped prepare for the party on Saturday... they are such amazing friends!

My first reaction as I realized that my mom will be taking me on a three day cruise with my sister... this coming Thurday! A fabulous graduation gift, in my opinion :-)

My Grandma flew out from Hawaii to be there for my graduation... it meant a lot :D This is me with all my sisters, Mom, and Grandma.

Dad... he choked up when he was graduating me and it made me cry the happiest tears I've ever cried... He is the best dad!

Happy Graduation to Me!!!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game!

2009-06-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening my Dad took Candice, Luke, Noah, Gabe, Veronica, Elisa, Josh, and I to a Storm baseball game. We had so much fun rooting for our team and just hanging out. Here are some pics of the fun time we had :-)

Approaching the Finish Line

2009-05-29T10:14:00.000-07:00

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Wow, only 5 days till high school is officially over! With only two finals and a paper left, I am feeling so excited to be finishing up! In a month I will be headed to China for 6 weeks, and then after that... God know;-) I am planning on taking one class at the junior college near my house in the fall, but aside from that I have kept my schedule completely clear so that I can help my family with homeschooling. After this crazy busy semester, getting to "play" big sister again will be so awesome! I am already planning on turning a portion of our yard into a garden as a science project for all the munchkins and I am really looking forward to that! Its kind of funny, because finishing up school makes me feel like my life is just beginning! There is so much to do and so little time on this earth, and I am so excited to see where God is going to take me.

47 Days...

2009-05-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

...until I leave for China! I am so excited and can't wait to see what God has planned for me during those six weeks :D

My Life Mission

2009-05-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

My goal in life is to be an authentic beauty...

wholly devoted to Christ, and seperate in spirit from the world.

I will live as if there is no tomorrow, on mission; love as Christ intended; learn something new every day; and leave a legacy of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I WILL NOT BE ASHAMED.

Karate Orange Belt Test

2009-05-12T22:01:00.000-07:00

Today was my first karate belt test... I received my orange belt for learning the basic hand pattern, basic kicking pattern, and kihon kata.

I passed!

For anyone who cares to know, putting on a belt in front of a crowd of spectators is oddly nerve-wracking, LOL!

Like father, like daughter ;-)

12 Reasons Why I Looove My Mama!

2009-05-09T17:22:00.001-07:00

(-: BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD :-)

Mother's Day weekend is here! I just wanted to write a quick post to let everybody know that I happen to have the BESTEST MOTHER EVER

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1. She loves Jesus with all her heart

2. She makes me smile... and everyone else too

3. She loooves her hubby... and makes that VERY CLEAR

4. She actually LIKES to be with her kids

5. She's got spunk... just ask anyone who has tried to rip her off!

6. She has a beatiful heart

7. She has a heart for orphans that is contageous

8. She is always willing to have a late night talk about everything or nothing

9. She never gives up... ever

10. She is always willing to give up her time, money, ANYTHING so that we kids can share a memory

11. She gets reeeally emotional about the little things that touch her... tears, smiles, and everything... its cute :D

12. She is an example of pure faith to all of her children

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Proverbs 32:28

Her children arise and call her blessed...

Night Walk 2009

2009-05-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

Please be praying for Bring Me Hope during these next couple of weeks as our annual Night Walk approaches!

* You may want to turn off the music player before pushing play, as it does contain audio. My music player is found at the bottom of the page :)

Prom '09

2009-05-05T22:35:00.001-07:00

Getting ready to take pictures... I love Mrs. Calvi's face!

I managed to put his boutonniere on the first try, without pricking him.... a miracle!

My daddy and Me <3

We had such a fun group!

(Chris, Me, Jessica, and Tasos)

We had a lot of fun :)

We can be kinda weird sometimes...

By the end of the night, we were all pro hip hop dancers!

;-)

Renaissance Faire

2009-04-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my dad took Candice, Luke, Noah, Gabriel, Veronica, and I to the Renaissance Faire! This was my second trip to the Faire and I saw a lot of the performers that were there five years ago! We all had a wonderful time learning about the Renaissance and being with our friends, the Chavezes.

Here is a picture that we took the first time I went to the Rennaisance Faire. My Grandma Harlow made me the beautiful dress that I was wearing and I felt like a princess... some people even thought I worked at the Faire!

Then...

and now :)

Sedar Feast, Break = Bliss, and Other Blog Post I Meant to Write!

2009-04-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

These past couple weeks have been super busy for me, full of fun (and not-so-fun) activities. As I've rushed through spring break and midterms, I've been in such a flurry that I have neglected my blog. I have so many things that I planned to write about in the past two weeks, but just haven't found the time! I have been thinking of everything in terms of what I want to write about in my blog and, despite my tardiness, I have decided to still write about the highlights :) So, with no more ado... Sedar, Break = Bliss, and Other Blog Posts I Meant to Write!

Sedar Feast - April 9, 2009

My family started a wonderful tradition this Easter week. Along with our friends, the Fitzpatricks, we had a Sedar feast to celebrate Passover. It was a special time for our family as we got to eat a meal full of symbolism pointing to Christ and His death on the cross. It was intriguing to think of how the Israelites celebrated this feast for thousands of years, looking forward to the coming of Christ, and now we, the grafted in (Romans 11:19), can celebrate it looking back to the Saviour that has already come! I am looking forward to celebrating this tradition every year!

He Is Risen! -April 12, 2009

Easter was too fun not to mention! We started off the morning chocolate-cross hunting. I helped my parents hide chocolate crosses all over the house and the youngsters got to search for them. After that we gathered on my parents bed (I wonder if the person who designed that bed meant for fourteen people to sit on it...) and my Dad explained how searching for those crosses was a lot like life. If we search after Christ with all our hearts we are sure to receive a reward (even greater than a chocolate cross!) in heaven. We then went to church and Pastor Chris gave a beautiful message about the redemption of the cross and the hard-truths echoed through the Bible. After church we came home and took a short nap before heading off to an Easter dinner at the Hubbs' house. We enjoyed fellowshipping with them, and my dad, Bethany, and I lead a time of worship with the adults. A perfect ending to a perfect day!

Break = Bliss - April 17, 2009

Spring break came and went faster than I could have imagined. I had so much fun being with my family and taking a break from the raucous of life. After a week of playing with my siblings and movie nights with my mom, I kind of wish I could always be on spring break. But then again, who wouldn't be happy with a schedule like this?

8:00 am - Wake up, eat breakfast, pick up house :)
9:00 am - Build train track for Elijah, help him obliterate it, build it again, and jump on the trampoline with Levi
10:00 am - Snuggle up on the couch with all the kiddos to watch "Princess and the Swan"
11:30 am - Lunch
12:00 pm - Naps!
2:30 pm - Swim time
3:30 pm - Fight Lab
8:00 pm - Movie w/ Mom
10:30 pm - Go on Facebook... ;-) and then off to bed!

The Small Things - April 19, 2009

This Sunday Pastor Chris gave a convicting sermon out of Daniel, chapter 3. The theme of the message was that it is the little things in a believer's life that prepare him for the big tests. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were able to be strong when Nebuchadnezzar threatened to throw them in to the flame, not because they were tough dudes, but because they had followed God's law in their day-to-day lives. The reality that, "He who is faithful in little is faithful in much," (Luke 16:10) was a good reminder to me that its not just what I do, but who I am that shapes my life as a follower of Christ. I am a daughter of the King, redeemed, consecrated unto God, and I am not ashamed! I pray that I truly will learn to be faithful in little so that I may be trusted with much.

Well, there you have it. Now you know what has been floating around in my mind for the past couple of weeks! As the school year draws to a close I will continue to grow more and more busy with finals, 40-hour projects, and big papers, but I will do my best to not fall four blog post behind anymore ;-)

All for His Glory, Amanda

Bring Me Hope '09 Promo

2009-04-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

I am going to China for six weeks this summer with an organization called Bring Me Hope. We will be putting on week-long camps for orphans as we try to love them the way Christ loves them. Here is a short video about why Bring Me Hope came together to do this and what they do. If you would like to know more about BMH and what they do, please check out their website: http://www.bringmehope.org/

It is truly heart-breaking to think about how many of God's children are alone tonight with no mommy or daddy to care for them. As you watch this video I would encourage you to think about how God could use YOU, "to reach out to orphans... in their distress." (James 1:27) No matter how much you CAN DO whether it is something little or big, God does call each and every Christian to DO SOMETHING.

*Because the video has sound, I would encourage you to turn off my music player before watching it. The music player can be found at the bottom of the page ;-)

Fun Sunday :)

2009-04-06T09:35:00.001-07:00

This is a picture of Kristen, Candice, Me, and Bethany at a Little Women musical we saw last weekend!

Yesterday we had our good friends, the Hubbs, over for a fun afternoon of swimming, barbecuing, fellowship, and s'mores. I had such a good time hanging out with two of my best friends, Kristen and Bethany (who, by the way, made AMAZING brownies), but that was no surprise because we always have so much fun together!
It was also Elijah's first swim of the year and he had a blast! He literally took to water like a fish. My mom has posted a video of him jumping into the jacuzzi on her blog http://varnells.blogspot.com/ so if you want to check it out... he was absolutely adorable!

Mystery Night '09!!!

2009-04-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

Waiting for the games to begin!

I think this is when some of the guys on our team had to move pickles and tomatoes from one bucket to another with just their mouth... waaay gross!

Eleni and Katie were characters from Wicked! They were hilarious. Eleni was sick with a cold so she actually sounded like a real witch ;-)

Tasos was a little reluctant to dance in the middle of Target's parking lot... so Chris and Jacob thought they would give him a hand!

We may have freaked a few people out...

Ending a fun night with two of my favorite ladies, Kenzie and Alicia!

Mystery Night '09 has come and gone! For those of you who do not know what Mystery Night is, Mystery Night is my youth group's biggest event of the year, after summer and winter camps. We recieve fifteen clues, decipher them, drive (techinically within the speed limit) to the location, and then have to complete some type of challenge. I had a fabulous times in the Calvi car... and we dominated everybody... well, everybody but whoever came in first. BUT I still had such a fun time and we even got a chance to talk to a visitor about Jesus which made coming in second place ALMOST ok :) All-in-all it was a wonderful time to fellowship with my Christian friends and share a lot of good laughs! One of my favorite games we got to play was the break-dancing challenge. Four guys from our team were chosen to give it all they had on the floor, and the results were hysterical! I could not stop laughing as I watched those boys go crazy doing something that can only be described as not-break-dancing... classic! As a senior, this was my last Mystery Night I will ever experience from the student perspective, but I look forward to the possibility of helping to put on Mystery Night '10!

No Accidents

2009-04-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

This has been quite a week. As spring vacation draws near, I am looking forward to a nice break from the raucous of life. On Tuesday I got into a minor car accident when I moved into the left lane without checking my blind spot. My parents were very gracious and have loved me through the whole thing despite the stress I know it has caused them.
Other than that, the week has been going quickly and God has been using everything from the accident to my family life to remind me that He has every detail planned out and will ultimately use me to achieve His purposes. I feel so inadequate with all my faults and short-comings, but then I am reminded that anything I achieve in this life will be because of the greatness of my Lord. I am a daughter of The King and a bondservant of Christ! It fills me with peace to know that as I seek after the Lord I am fulfilling His calling in my life, and there really are no "accidents."

Hopeful Beginning

2009-03-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a wonderful experience. One of my best friends, Alicia, and I had our first Bible study together! Both of us have been looking for an opportunity to get serious accountability and prayer outside of our family, so we thought that it would be a good idea to work together as we try to walk "The Walk." We will be working through Leslie Ludy's Authentic Beauty, and I feel confident that God will use it to bring us closer to Him. We set specific goals for ourselves and I would like to share a few with you.

To draw closer together as sisters in Christ so that we may encourage, as well as exhort one another with scripture

To become set-apart young women, wholly devoted to Christ so that His light may shine through us

To dedicate ourselves to being respectful to our parents and a blessing to our siblings

This is our first time doing something like this with anyone aside from our moms, and we are so excited to encourage one another to become more like our Jesus. We will be meeting every week and have set two hours aside for both the study, discussion, and prayer. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we would really appreciate your prayers as we strive to glorify God and enjoy Him forever!

I Now Have A Blog!

2009-03-23T22:32:00.000-07:00

I love writing. It has always been my favorite subject, and now as my highschool "career" draws to a close I will be putting my knowledge to good use. I have been inspired to start a blog by my friend Nicole and my mom who both have beautiful (and very entertaining!) blogs that they keep up-to-date and fill with priceless stories about their everyday lives. My hope is to write about both the mundane and the spectacular events that mesh together to make up the life God has given me.

For His Glory,
Amanda