Lily Among the Thorns

On Friday I gave my first speech! It was quite an experience that I will not soon forget... ;-) I talked about the legacy of Amy Carmichael. Studying her life was such an inspiration to me as I continue to seek the set-apart life! Here is the written form of my oration:

Amy Carmichael: A Lily Among the Thorns
"You can give without loving, but you can not love without giving." These are the words of my great heroine - Amy Carmichael. Born into a middle-class Irish family in the late 1800's, it was assumed that Amy would grow up, marry, and live the life of a homemaker. But God had a different plan for Amy, one that did not fit the common mold. Amy Carmichael was ultimately led to become a mother and caregiver to the destitute women and children of India. By reflecting on the life of this virtuous woman, I hope to encourage you to take up arms in defense of the broken and lost as she once did.

One thing that really stood out to me as I was examining her life was how God called her at a rather early age. One Sunday afternoon, 17 year old Amy was walking with her brothers when they spotted an old woman hunched over with sticks tied to her back. On an impulse of the moment they decided to help her. The woman was slower than they had anticipated and soon many of the people from their church caught up to them and looked at their service with disdain. One woman even took the hands of her children and crossed over to the other side of the road! Amy and her brothers became very embarrassed and started to pray that no one important would come along. As the stumbled along, they approached a fountain. In hopes of distracting herself, Amy started to count the stones. All of a sudden she heard a voice saying, "Gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw... the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work which any many has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward." Amy looked around but saw no one who could have spoken to her. She soon realized that she had heard the voice of God. He had spoken to her from I Corinthians 3:12-14 and she was forever changed. After many hours of prayer about her purpose in life, Amy made the decision to follow Christ with all her heart and to hold nothing back. Rather than wait to "grow up" to start working for the Lord, Amy began almost immediately by reaching out to the factory girls (called Shawlies) and poor children in the town where she lived. Her experiences in opening and running "The Morning Watch Club" for orphans and "The Welcome" for the Shawlies proved to be of great value in the years to come. When she was 20 years old she had the opportunity to hear Hudson Taylor speak at a convention. While there she felt God calling her to the mission field, and so she applied to China Inland Mission. They ruled her health to be too fragile, causing her to eventually apply to the Church Missionary Society where she was accepted.

Initially, Amy traveled to Japan where she served for 15 months. But, after a visit to Sri Lanka, Amy felt sure that God was calling her to India and there she went, never to leave her beloved new country again. Upon arriving in the second most populous country in the world, Amy soon was exposed to the rather harsh culture of India, where the caste system and the Hindu religion governed the ways of the people. She was horrified to see young girls sold to Hindu temples as prostitutes for the priests’ "holy" pleasure, and so began her ministry as their Amma. She founded an organization which she called Dohnavur Fellowship which was really just a home open to any orphan child or woman trying to escape the forced prostitution of the Hindu temples.

One example of Amy's compassion for these people is Preena. Preena was a 7 year old girl while lived in a Hindu Temple. Her parents had given her to be used as a prostitute when she was just 5 years old to gain favor with the gods. She had tried to run away once, but she was promptly returned and was burned on her hands with red hot irons as a reminder to never run away. Two years later, while being prepared to "marry" the gods in a demonic ceremony Preena decided to run away again. A woman had tried to scare her with stories of the child-stealing Amma (the natives name for Amy) using her illustrations to explain how nice and safe the temples were, but the tales had an opposite effect on Preena! Preena escaped again and ran to the child-stealing Amma as fast as she could. Just as she had hoped, Amy and her band of Christians took her in and cared for her. Preena was just one of over a thousand children whom Dohnavur Fellowship took in during Amy's lifetime. Amy never turned anyone away and always shared the love of Christ with the lost and broken who rested in her comfortable home.

In her biography of Amy Carmichael's life, Elisabeth Elliot observed, "The preoccupations of seventeen year old girls - their looks, their clothes, their social life - do not change much from generation to generation. But in every generation there seems to be a few who make other choices. Amy was one of the few." Amy made the choice to live a life wholly devoted to Christ and separate in spirit from the world when she was just seventeen. Because of her obedience to her Heavenly Father, thousands, if not millions, of Indian women and children have felt the impact of her faith and endurance even to this day. Let us follow her example and seek after the, "the love that leads the way, the faith that nothing can dismay, the hope no disappointments tire, the passion that'll burn like fire," and become God's fuel!

Living the Good Life <3

I have officially been home one month! Time has flown as I have worked back into the family schedule and have been savoring this special time in my life. While I was in China, God made it clear to me that He was calling me to serve my family with all my heart and with no distractions. For me, this meant no college classes and no job. I told God that I didn't see my parents being ok with that, so if it was really His plan, then I needed Him to "prove" it to me through them bringing it up. Literally within two days my mom was emailing me asking me what I thought about staying home this semester. After explaining to her how God had really been turning my heart towards my family, we agreed that I would not take any classes this semester or seek after work. During the last few weeks in China, when I knew what God had for me at home, I looked forward to going back to my family with eager expectation of the blessings I saw in my near future. It was an incredible feeling to be so content with my life in China while still being able to smile at my future at home. But in the back of my mind I was a little afraid that my life would not turn out as perfectly and I was imagining it.... Thank the Lord; there was really nothing to fear.
It took me a couple weeks to catch up on my sleep and figure out my role in the home after so long of an absence, but now a month into my new life everything is going even BETTER than I could have ever hoped for! I have taken over homeschooling Sofia (6), Joshua (7), and Elisa (8) and am having a blast! Some of our recent activities have included baking bread, writing/performing a skit (Check out my mom's blog for pics!), and leaf walks. In honor of my mom's motto to "inspire not require," I have had so much fun finding ways to make even math and grammar exciting. All their sweet comments about how I am their favorite teacher [besides Mom, of course ;-)] make my heart smile! It is such an incredible feeling to know that I am building memories with my siblings that I will have forever.
Some of the other jobs I set out to do upon arriving home were meals and laundry. In preparation for the days when I will have my own home to run, I have been experimenting with different recipes and been learning a lot about time management ;-) In a home where it is abnormal to do less than 3-4 loads of laundry a day, you can't get behind! My mom has been very gracious as I have made my share of mistakes in this lengthy process of homemaker growth. On the days where I am running around trying to juggle math worksheets, Elijah duty, and the dryer's beeping, I can't help but think of how blessed I am that God has put me in a home where I get hands on experience at being a mom every day!
Another awesome part about being home is all the time I have been spending with my mom. She is truly my best friend! Though I have been foolish in the past and not always respected her wisdom, she continually forgives me and is there for me. She welcomed me to do a Bible study with her, so now we get up at 5:30 to do a Beth Moore study on the fruit of the spirit. I have been so challenged by the Holy Spirit during this time, and it is so incredible to feel God working in my heart! On top of that, it was so special to me that my mom invited me to do this with her as those early hours are really the only "alone-time" she gets during the day. I am also studying speaking, debate, and some classic books under her tutelage with Candice and two of my good friends, Bethany and Kristen. It is very enjoyable to learn how to be a strong communicator for Christ, and I love sipping my favorite chai tea as we discuss some of my most beloved classics!
These days I am constantly amazed at how much God has blessed me! Tuesday was my 17th birthday and I got to go to Disneyland with my mom, Luke, Noah, Gabriel, Veronica, Joshua, and Sofia. While we were eating lunch at Denny's my mom asked me if there was anything in my life that I would change if I could. Without hesitation I gave an adamant, "Nope!" and smiled at her. The Holy Spirit has given me the joy of the Lord, and I feel as if my cup is overflowing! I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I am blessed with such supernatural contentement that it is easy for me to completely trust God. If there is one thing that God has been showing me over the past few months of my life, it is that nothing surpasses the joy of Lord when you follow His plan. Please be praying that I be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and continue to walk in His ways!

"Godliness with contentement is great gain." ~ 1 Timothy 6:6

P.S. I will be updating my blog each Tuesday (God willing...) from now on, so stay tuned! :-)

Witney <3

Me and Witney chowing down on one of our favorite Chinese snacks... Chicken Feet!

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Week four was destined to be a special week from the beginning. Patti, Chris, one of the volunteers named Clint, and I were given the opportunity to go pick up the children from the orphanage. We took a four hour bus ride into the mountains to pick up twenty of the twenty three orphans who would be joining us that week (the others would be arriving from foster homes in Xi’an). It was a beautiful drive and it was really special to get to meet all the children a few hours early! Because we had so many children, we had decided to split the camp into two teams – Blue Team and Green Team. We did everything separate apart from assemblies. This meant that our staff was also divided into two teams… Jon, Patti, and I were on Blue Team and Jeff, Kait, and Chris were on Green Team. Originally, this was a bit disappointing for me because I had been looking forward to spending lots of time with ALL my good friends on staff during the last week. We had gotten each of our jobs down to a science and could guide the groups from each activity to the next without much difficulty. But rather than keeping me in my comfort bubble, God had a plan.

The week before, one of our Chinese staff, Witney, had shared her life story during one of our staff meetings. During her story she began to cry and spoke of the emptiness she felt inside and how she was sad that she hadn’t gotten to know each of us foreign staff very well. My heart broke for her as she spoke of the darkness inside that I knew to be the result of not knowing Christ, but that she had no explanation for. That was Tuesday night of week three. During the rest of week three, I tried to reach out to Witney and slowly we began to be friends. She left for the weekend to take the children back to their orphanage, but when she returned Monday I went right back to pursuing her as a friend. Because our camp was split in half, I had a lot more time to dedicate to showing her Christ’s love. She had become good friends with Jon as well and so the three of us were able to have fun as Jon and I tried to impact her for Christ. We had so much fun playing games, getting ice cream, and just hanging out as she began to open up. Wednesday night came along and I began to notice that she was acting depressed. I asked her if she wanted to go on a walk and she consented.

It was around nine in the evening as we began to walk around the university. It is a beautiful campus with lots of trees, grass areas, gardens, parks, and brick paved roads. For the first ten minutes or so we barely said a word. We just walked along the path soaking in the peaceful atmosphere. But the Spirit had an agenda for that evening and He soon began prompting my heart to begin talking about Jesus. I had no idea what to say, but I knew I was supposed to say something. Finally, with butterflies rolling around in my stomach and a deep breath, I began to tell her different Bible stories that came to mind. As we walked she listened intently, but did not comment. After a little while I paused. This is so awkward! I thought, Jesus, I don’t know what I can say that is going to reach out to this girl… Please, Lord, help me, and give me the right words! We meandered down the path, silence once again reigning. I looked around me hoping to find a source of inspiration… and then I saw the moon.

In Xi’an one rarely sees the sky because the pollution is so awful. A thick, cloudy film generally blocks most of the stars’ lights from ever reaching the people in the city below, but not on that night. “Look, Witney, the moon is out! It is so beautiful. Look, it even has a face! Have you ever spoken to Mr. Moon before?” I asked. Witney looked at me like I was a little strange, but her gaze quickly shifted to see what I was so excited about. She stopped walking, and just stared. After what seemed like ages, she began to laugh. “It does have a face! This is something I have never seen before…” She was awestruck. We moved to a low wall so that we could sit and watch the beautiful sight when all of a sudden her smile turned upside down and she became melancholy. “Mr. Moon has a sad face,” she told me with a frown. I looked up again. It did seem to have a sad face. “Hmmm, well maybe he has something to be sad about. Does it make you think of anything?” I asked. She shrugged her shoulders. “Well,” I observed, “It makes me think of you.” Witney gave me a quick look and I just stared back at her. She rested her head on my shoulder and began to cry! I wrapped my arms around her and just held her.

After a few minutes, I felt the Spirit prompting me once again, and so I began to pray for her out loud. I asked the Lord to make Himself real to her, to show her His love, and to bring her to the saving knowledge of His death. It seemed as if the more I prayed the more she cried, and I knew that a spiritual battle was being waged for her soul at that very moment. We sat there for over thirty minutes as tears streamed down her face and mine. I prayed continuously, sometimes out loud and sometimes in my head. After she seemed to calm down I asked her if she had ever prayed before. She told me she hadn’t. “Well, Witney, you’ve told me that you can not persuade yourself to believe that God is real, but to be honest you are right… You can not persuade yourself. The Holy Spirit has to work in your heart and God’s love will do all the persuading that needs to be done. Maybe you should pray and ask God to show Himself to you. God is a gentleman. He will continue to knock on the door to your heart, but if you don’t open it He won’t force the door down. What do you think about that?” Witney looked at me and then looked down. She closed her eyes and we just sat there for a few more minutes. After a little while she looked and I asked her if she was ready to go back. She said she was, so we began to walk back to the hotel. I still don’t know if she prayed that evening, but I am confident that the Spirit was working in her heart either way.

Witney and I continued to become greater friend through the rest of week four and as it drew to an end we were both so thankful that we would have one more week together in Nanchang. It is so amazing to me how every time I set my mind on something looking one way, God changes it in such a way that it brings Him glory in ways I hadn’t even thought of! If anyone had asked me the Sunday before week four began what I wanted it to look like, I would have said that I wanted to spend my last week in Xi’an investing into the translators and strengthening the relationships I had built with the foreign staff. I am so thankful to the Lord that he gave me the opportunity to not only do those things, but to share His love with a girl who has a lot of emotional pain. I am even grateful that in His sovereignty He split the camps, providing me with more opportunities to be with Witney, and less distractions to prevent that relationship from growing strong! As I go into my last week in China I will be working in Nanchang (about a two hour plane ride from Xi’an), and Witney will be right there with me! May God use me to make Himself real to her.

Time Flies

Whew! It has been two weeks since my last post, and I feel like I haven’t written in ages. Week three of camp came and went faster than I ever thought it could! For the first time I was solely Translator Coordinator with no surprise jobs. On Monday afternoon the last group of children arrived from the Zhengzhou orphanage and a fun week began! Tuesday was the first trip to the pool and the kids had so much fun going down the waterslides and playing in the mini water park. For the first time, even I was able to get a chance to go down the slides! I took turns “borrowing” orphans from their volunteers so that I could take them down and it was quite a bit of fun. Wednesday morning we had pottery. Though many of the kids had mental disabilities (making it semi-impossible for them to work at the wheel and make a real pot or bowl), they still had an enjoyable time molding the clay into little figures and a few even made attempts at the pottery wheel. In the afternoon we all went to the Big Goose Pagoda fountain show and had a blast running through the water! Thursday was back to the pool and the kids left Friday morning. It was a very successful week and many lives were impacted! I was particularly exhausted after that week, but we had a low key weekend and I was able to get rested up in preparation for the last week of camp. I am amazed at how quickly time flew, and I am so thankful to God for the many opportunities He has given me in these past weeks to show love to the orphans and translators!

Bambi and Shilo

Well, the second week of camp is officially over! I got to experience camp through the eyes of a volunteer, and I learned a lot of lessons. Being a volunteer is definitely a lot of work, and to think that the translator’s job is even harder has grown a whole new respect for them in my heart. When I agreed to be a volunteer for the week, I had no idea what I was signing up for. The reality that a volunteer spends twelve hours a day joined at the hip to their orphan buddy for four days doesn’t hit home until you have experienced it yourself. I was so surprised at how exhausted I felt at the end of each day! Though it was tedious at times to not be allowed to leave Bambi’s side, it was such a rewarding experience. I was so blessed to spend time with Bambi and Shilo, and hopefully impacted them for Christ in a big way.

Bambi was a very interesting buddy to have because of her continual silence. She rarely spoke and Shilo and I struggled to understand her and her capabilities. At times she would stare at Shilo with a blank stare when she asked her to do something, and at others she would hop right to the task at hand as if it was no biggie. During the first couple days I tried really hard to get Bambi to speak to me, but she did not respond to me or Shilo’s gentle promptings to say something…. anything. When I realized that we weren’t going to get anywhere in the speech department, I shifted my focus to showing her the physical affection that she most likely misses out on at the orphanage. I gave her lots of hugs as well, as held her hand whenever we walked places, and she would glow with happiness. It was really precious how she would light up whenever Shilo and I would each take a hand and giggle as we walked. Though we were not able to talk about whether or not she was enjoying camp, the joy was evident on her face, and I know that she was happy for the few days that she was with us. I was so blessed to be able to be a part of her life during this last week, and really got to know Shilo through our mutual interest in Bambi’s life.

After Shilo arrived it didn’t take long to reach the conclusion that she was going to have a long week. She was very high maintenance, hard to please, and definitely NOT the ideal translator. When she complained about Natalie’s Chinese skills I felt sick… I knew that I would eventually meet a problem-translator like her, but I honestly didn’t expect it to be so soon! When Sam asked me to be her volunteer I was less than excited about the prospects… I expected it to be something of a nightmare. But God extends grace to those who are in need and I was definitely in need! By His mercy she was transformed in just a couple days from a snobby college student to a kind and compassionate big sister. She had been an only child her entire life, so this was her first experience caring for someone else. She learned how to be a good care-taker in a very short time and truly came to love Bambi. She would speak so gently to her and lovingly do anything to make Bambi comfortable. Then, on Wednesday we went to the mall to buy Bambi a blouse, and Shilo starting asking me about my faith. She asked all kinds of questions about Jesus, heaven, and what I thought about other religions. She had attended a Bible study for a time, so she had a lot of mature questions to ask. It was so exciting to get an opportunity to share Biblical truths with her and gently point her in the right direction. It was very touching when, at the end of the week, Shilo explained to me that the greatest impact this week’s camp had had on her was how everyone here was a “good Christian,” as she put it. She had met so many people at her university who claimed to be Christ-followers but were really only seeking glory for themselves, so when she saw the believers at camp serving Christ and loving Him with their actions she was deeply moved. On Friday night I wrote her a letter thanking her for her wonderful service at camp and in it I wrote, “I will continue to pray that you make that decision we talked about…” Later she came to me and said that maybe she would make the decision to follow Christ soon. I pray to God that she will come to the saving knowledge of His grace and that I will see her again one day in heaven.

I am so grateful to God for giving me the opportunity to plant seeds of Christ’s hope and love in Shilo and Bambi’s hearts. They are such beautiful girls and I am confident that I will see them again one day. Please be praying for both of them as the Holy Spirit works in their hearts in the upcoming months and hopefully draws them to Himself!

Change of Plans

I came to China with very few expectations… Everyone’s stories were so different and unique! One of the comments I kept hearing over and over again was that I would be semi-sick of camp by the fourth week because of the tedious repetition. So, I came to China expecting each week to go more or less than same without many differences. Sure, there would be problems and obstacles to overcome, but the differences would still be within the mold of what camp was “supposed” to look like. Yet as I have begun yet another abnormal week of camp, I am starting to feel that I will not have time to get bored with any routine as each week of camp has proven to be anything BUT repetitive or monotonous.
As anybody who has been reading my updates knows, my first week of camp was very special and out-of-the-ordinary because of Fanfan. That was such a wonderful experience, but it certainly didn’t fit my or anyone else’s idea of what camp looks like. Now this week the BMH Xi’an camp team was confronted with another complication. Shilo, one of the translators, was unhappy to be paired up with Natalie, a volunteer, due to the fact that Natalie is fluent in Chinese. She asked to be given another partner in hopes of being able to practice her translating skills. This was just not possible due to the reality that everyone had already been paired and was adjusting to their assigned family groups. Sam decided that the next option was to make Natalie staff for the week and to choose one of the foreign staff to replace her. After talking to Valerie, Kait, Patti, and I, Sam reached the conclusion that it would be best for me to take on the role of volunteer and join Bambi (the orphan girl) and Shiloh’s family group. This was all decided Monday night, so I officially became Bambi’s volunteer this morning.
Bambi is a beautiful, sweet girl and is very obedient, but she is exceedingly shy and often pretends to not understand what Shiloh is saying to her. She didn’t say a single thing to me all morning! She was openly affectionate with hugs and would hold my hand, but no words. I was slightly discouraged after seeing her jabber away in clear, precise Chinese with the other orphans, but her behavior is all too common in children with attachment disorder. I have realized that she uses her speech as a means to control the relationships around her and to keep those whom she is unfamiliar with at a distance. She continued with her silent ways throughout the afternoon, but after a trip to the swimming pool she looked at me and said, “Jei jei,” which means big sister. She said a few more phrases to me throughout the evening, and each one was like a jewel. I can feel a bond growing between us that I am sure will only grow stronger during the next three days! I am so thankful to God for giving me this opportunity to be a ray of sunshine in her regularly dark world.
This week is not what I planned it to be, but God is in control and, as always, He has a better plan. Rather than distancing myself from the children and working solely with the translators as Translator Coordinator for all four weeks the Lord has provided me with heaps of opportunities to show love to His parentless children. I am quite certain that I will not feel that any of the next three weeks are repetitive as God is giving me a new and fresh perspective at each camp!

Pictures from Amanda

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