Love Never Fails

It’s amazing how fast camp is going. Though it feels like yesterday, it has been four days since I sat with Patti as we went through the lists of translators, volunteers, and orphans and put them into family groups on paper. Then they arrived and very quickly became more than mere names on paper, and have developed into people I will remember for the rest of my life. My heart has grown heavy for the lost who have come to this camp as orphans and translators, and I rejoice with those who have found the straight and narrow. I do not remember ever feeling such deep sadness and overflowing happiness in such a short period of time. One source of both joy and sorrow is a sixteen year old girl named Zhang Fanfan.

Fanfan is mentally retarded and the most stubborn and independent child I have ever met. When she arrived on Monday afternoon, she immediately attached herself to one of our translators, Bruce, and would not let go. After a huge battle, one of our American staff, Jeff, was able to pry Fanfan off Bruce, but she was hysterical. If anyone tried to touch her she would kick, hit and try to bite them. Jane, her translator, was afraid to touch her or even to communicate what we asked her to say for fear of making her angrier. After a very long four hours, it was finally time for her to go to bed, and we left her in her room with Jane hoping that she would improve the next day.

Tuesday morning proved to be no better. Fanfan continued to scream at us for “Gaga,” which means “Big Brother.” It was quickly established that she was not emotionally stable enough to join in the group activities, and Jane and Kathy (her volunteer) spent the entire day trying to keep her entertained in her room. She continued to have bouts of screaming and crying, and would not be comforted by anyone. A couple times she even tried to run away from Jane and Kathy, so Jeff had to gently but firmly hold on to her from behind with her arms crossed to prevent her from hurting the people around her. Everyone involved was beginning to feel discouraged. Sam began to talk of the possibility of sending her back to the orphanage. Jane, who had been trying very hard to maintain composure throughout the day, finally said she wanted Fanfan to go because she was not happy. After everyone was in bed the staff held a meeting where we discussed what to do with Fanfan. We didn’t want her to feel like she was being punished, but at the same time she was clearly not enjoying the camp experience. After a long talk, Sam decided that we would give her one more day to improve, but if she didn’t get better we would have to send her home. I took on the responsibility of organizing activities to keep her occupied as we could not let her join the other campers because of the instability of her emotions. That night we all prayed fervently to our Heavenly Father to calm Fanfan’s spirit and to give her peace. Fast forward to Wednesday morning.

The staff was holding our morning meeting at 7 am, and all of a sudden Fanfan ran into the office… all SMILES! She ran around the room, giving everybody big hugs and then took off to play with bubbles. We all stood there shocked and gloriously happy. As I watched her I praised the Lord for His grace and asked that he would continue to work in her heart. She continued through the early part of the morning and was very easy going. At ten ‘o clock the rest of the campers left to go make pottery, and we decided it was best for me and Michelle (our amazing Chinese Camp Director) to stay at the hotel and see if she continued to be in such a good mood. As everybody walked downstairs, I had a little bit of time alone with Fanfan, and she became very upset. She wanted to be with everybody.

I felt pity for her, but it had already been decided that she was too emotionally unstable to go. Five minutes passed. She ran down the first of five flights of stairs and threw herself on the ground. As I sat there staring at her I had an idea what to do. I slowly opened my wallet and pulled out a five mao bill (the equivalent of about $0.60) and gave it to her. She stopped crying and looked at it wide eyed. She reached out her hand for more. I handed her a yuan (the equivalent of about $1.20). Fanfan’s face lit up into a big grin and she took off jogging down the stairs. Now, I am well aware that bribery is not generally a good means to control a child, but I was desperate! I happily ran after her and as we passed Michelle I called out to her to join us for a shopping trip and we all headed to the nearby convenience store. When we arrived I explained to her (through Michelle) that she was allowed to buy any two things. She quickly moved to the ice cream box and picked out two ice creams. After handing her the necessary cash to purchase her prizes she handed the money to the cashier and happily began eating her ice cream bar. That was the beginning of a wonderful four hours. After shopping for some medicine, Michelle and I took her on a picnic at the university and ate our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a beautiful park shaded by lots of trees. It was a very relaxing time as we sat there, taking in the beauty around us and exchanging smiles every minute or so. Once we had finished eating we gave her beads and string to make bracelets. She was very intrigued by the assortment of beads we had provided and began working intently on her first anklet. As I sat there staring at her I was overwhelmed by the girl that was sitting in front of me. She had been completely changed, and I couldn’t believe how different she was acting. Only God can receive the glory, for only God has the power to change a person so quickly.

While we watched her make the bracelets Michelle began to talk to her in Chinese. Usually she translates what she is saying for me, but in this instance she did not. All of a sudden Fanfan began to cry, and Michelle had tears flowing down her cheeks. I asked Michelle what she had said. She responded, “I told her that we love her because Jesus loves her, and that even though her parents reject her, and many people reject her, that Jesus still loves her and will always love her. But when I asked her if Jesus loves her, she says no. That is why she is crying. She does not think anybody loves her. That’s why I tell her that Jesus loves her. I want her to know we love her and that Jesus love her.”

At that moment I became so incredibly broken for Fanfan and for each of the orphans. How many children are living in this world absent of the knowledge that Jesus loves them? More than I want to admit. More than people like to talk about. It is a terrible realization to think about how many people are without the love of Christ, and so often we will go through daily life without even stopping to say, “Hey, Jesus loves you and I love you because He loves you. I don’t know how many times you have been rejected in this life, but Jesus Christ will never leave you or forsake you if you follow after Him.” I am so grateful that the Lord has made it possible for me to come to China and be reminded of His love… His unfailing, limitless love. My heart is tender as I move forward with an open mind to see what God has to teach me.